We know nothing. We’re all dumb. We prop ourselves up as experts on what teams are good and what teams aren’t, but it’s all just guesswork. I’m talking about media folks bleating from on high, from ESPN ‘s Stephen A. Smith down to me.
But I’m talking about you, too. Fans are also dumb.
Welcome back, football!
We are all clueless about, and merry hostages to, your enduring mystery.
We love football, college and pro, and one of the many reasons is that it humbles us. Just when we think we have it all nailed, Appalachian State wins at No. 6-ranked Texas A&M in College Station.
Just when we think our fantasy draft crushed it, Aaron Rodgers goes and gets you three points.
Ever try predicting something that is inherently unpredictable? I would mention my won-lost record on my NFL Week 1 picks, but I promised my mother I would never write anything obscene in the newspaper.
After Sunday, five betting favorites had lost out the gate as King Sport got under way: the 49ers, Bengals, Panthers, Titans and Packers. A sixth team, the Colts, got tied by the lowly Texans. ESPN said seven “contenders” had fallen on opening week, including the Patriots’ 20-7 loss in Miami.
(Admit it: Only a winning lottery ticket looks better than Bill Belichick, utterly out of answers, as the clock winds down).
In college football seven Top 25 teams lost, with No. 1 Alabama avoiding the biggest upset of all in a last-second 20-19 escape at unranked Texas.
Ranked teams who did lose were the aforementioned No. 6 Texas A&M, No. 8 Notre Dame, No. 9 Baylor, No. 12 Florida, No. 17 Pittsburgh, No. 19 Wisconsin and No. 25 Houston.
Here’s somebody else who’s dumb: People voting in Top 25 polls, evidently.
And people hiring coaches.
Remember when Nebraska thought Scott Frost was the answer, the savior? School just fired him with a 16-31 record into his fifth season. He gets his full $15 million buyout. Would have been half that if they had canned him after October 1, but having him gone two weeks sooner apparently was worth the $7.5 mill.
Being a bad, overpaid coach at a school that feels entitled to win might be the best job in all of sports. Unless you can think of a better job than one paying you $15 million to do nothing?
The bloom is already off Brian Kelly at LSU. Notre Dame thought Marcus Freeman was a great young hire; that was before he became first Irish coach ever to start 0-3.
The mighty Nick Saban himself just came one point from national headlines wondering whether his magic was gone and his dynasty done. (Those headlines have been in the queue a long, log time).
A&M’s Jimbo Fisher already was feeling a bit of heat in College Station after last season’s downturn to an 8-4 record and then his offseason feud with Saban over who was cheating more.
That was before Saturday’s home loss at an Appalachian State team that had allowed 63 points in a season-opening loss.
By the way, you ever notice a silly nickname like Jimbo sound a lot better when you’re winning than when you’re losing to Appalachian State.
(“So I’m still good on mine, right?” says Clemson’s Dabo Swinney. Yes, Dabo. For now...).
A&M’s embarrassing loss yanked this coming Saturday’s ESPN “College GameDay” show out of College Station, saving Jimbo from the ugly rehash but also robbing the Miami Hurricanes of the national shot of major pub.
The Aggies are six-point favorites, which seems a bit illogical. Not that much is logical about football.
Fisher is working to get back in the good races of fans. Miami’s Mario Cristobal is still enjoying his honeymoon, which will continue blissfully until the Canes’ first loss.
The honeymoon just began Sunday for the Dolphins’ first-year coach, Mike McDaniel. It could be a short one, with games on deck at nemesis Baltimore, then back home against mighty Buffalo, then at Cincinnati.
After his team beat Belichick’s Pats on Sunday, the media invited (read: begged) McDaniel to wax emotional how it it felt, as a first-time boss, to be 1-0.
He paused a second at most.
“I wish all you had to do is win one game,” he said.
The honeymoon is on for McDaniel and Cristobal. And nothing about football is more certain than it won’t last.
