Grace Tame has hit out at media outlets that "sought to discredit" her by publishing an old photo of her sitting next to what appeared to be a bong.
In an open letter published on Twitter, the former Australian of the Year said the incident let her down as an advocate of the survivor community.
She went on to say the country needed to have an "open and honest discussion about trauma and what that can look like".
"It can be ugly. It can look like drugs. Like self-harm, skipping school, getting impulsive tattoos and all kinds of other unconscious, self-destructive, maladaptive coping mechanisms," Ms Tame wrote.
"Whilst I do not seek to glorify, sanitise or normalise any of these things, I also do not seek to shame or judge survivors for ANY of their choices.
"For anyone who needs to hear this: it is NOT YOUR FAULT."
The photo of Ms Tame was on her Instagram account and taken when she was 19.
It was deleted shortly before news site Daily Mail published it on February 14, at which point it went viral.
Ms Tame, now aged 27, initially addressed the photo in a tweet: "Alright, I confess, we were doing a cover of 'April Sun in Cuba'. On the oboe."
The unearthing of the photo was criticised as an attempted attack on Ms Tame's credibility and public figures including federal Liberal MP Dave Sharma jumped to her defence.
"I am sure there is a photo of me like that. I don't think this stuff is remotely in the public interest," Mr Sharma tweeted.
However, the photo seemingly boosted Ms Tame's popularity, with her saying it resulted in a record amount of donations to The Grace Tame Foundation.
"On that note, [it] is with a swollen heart that I wish to thank the legions of strangers and friends alike from all over Australia who showed up and showed out for survivors by calling out the unnecessary shaming stunt on Monday," Ms Tame wrote.
"I have never seen anything quite like it.
"It means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to many other survivors as well.
"Our foundation received a record amount of donations that day, bringing us one step closer to a future free from the sexual abuse of children and others."
Ms Tame thrust the confronting topic of child sexual abuse into the national spotlight when she was announced as Australian of the Year in 2021.
Throughout her tenure she was critical of Prime Minister Scott Morrison and the federal government's handling of sexual assault allegations.
Her firebrand approach has drawn a legion of supporters and critics.
Since passing the baton of Australian of the Year to tennis champion Dylan Alcott, Ms Tame has continued to draw the nation's attention.
Her decision not to smile while being greeted by Mr Morrison at The Lodge prompted criticism, including from the Prime Minister's wife, Jenny Morrison.
Ms Tame has said she did not smile because the "survival of abuse culture is dependent on submissive smiles".
Her "side-eye" and no-holds-barred speech at the National Press Club with Brittany Higgins have also made Ms Tame a public figure for women pushing against societal expectations to please and keep the peace.
Read the full letter
To every media outlet who sought to discredit me by publishing THAT photo,
Although my humour and strength remain intact, I'd be lying if I said it didn't let me down.
Not just as an individual, but more so as an advocate of the survivor community …
At every point — on the national stage, I might add — I've been completely transparent about all the demons I've battled in the aftermath of child sexual abuse; drug addiction, self-harm, anorexia and PTSD, among others.
You just clearly haven't been listening.
Whilst we must acknowledge the harm that drugs can cause, if we want to have an OPEN and HONEST discussion about child sexual abuse in this country, we must also have an open and honest discussion about trauma and what that can look like.
It can be ugly. It can look like drugs. Like self-harm, skipping school, getting impulsive tattoos and all kinds of other unconscious, self-destructive, maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Whilst I do not seek to glorify, sanitise or normalise any of these things, I also do not seek to shame or judge survivors for ANY of their choices.
For anyone who needs to hear this: it is NOT YOUR FAULT.
There are survivors out there who are terrified of seeking help because they're afraid they'll be blamed for what has happened to them. They are afraid they'll be chastised for their coping strategies instead of being offered support and treated for the cause of their suffering.
And what do you think happens when they see the mainstream media deliberately brutalise survivor-advocates like me for actions I took when I was 19 and still trying to process something I didn't understand?
I'll tell you. Their fear is magnified.
Publicly shaming survivors for their past is as low as you can possibly go.
Moreover, in many CSA cases, substances are PART of the crime. When the man who abused me first tried to rape me, he used alcohol to stupefy me. I'd only been drunk twice in my life before that.
Perpetrators often use substances in grooming and offending, first to lower inhibitions, and second to build a conspiracy with the target which prevents them from reporting.
Survivors fear authorities will zero in on the substance use instead of the wider complexities of psychological manipulation - which are much harder to prove and explain.
Drugs feature in the broader story of abuse, during and after. They feed into and compound the many layers of guilt and confusion. Later they become a familiar, go-to means of escape.
By point-mocking a symptom of a bigger picture, you've reinforced the imbalance of an already skewed culture. You've chosen to punish the product of an evil, not the evil itself.
This is precisely why survivors don't report. Congratulations.
There are only two possible explanations for why you did what you did: either you're so irretrievably ignorant of how trauma affects people and therefore didn't consider the RE-traumatising effects of your actions, OR you are wilfully complicit in perpetuating abuse culture.
I shudder at thought that it's the latter.
If it's the former, please allow me to share some insights that might be helpful in the hope that you never do this to an abuse survivor ever again:
In the case of many violent crimes, the majority of us have both the vocabulary to explain exactly what happens should we experience them, and the knowledge of how to seek appropriate help.
Child sexual abuse is very different. Its perpetrators are very manipulative and sophisticated. And children — by virtue of their age — do not have the mental framework to comprehend it. For many survivors, it remains shrouded in mystery long after the contact offending stops.
I didn't even hear about the word 'grooming' until 7 years after I'd experienced this insidious form of psychological abuse. I didn't know paedophiles operated in a way that is considered 'textbook'.
I blamed myself for what a 58-year-old man did to me when I was 15. In the years that followed, I beat myself up relentlessly. I thought everyone else around me blamed me too. To cope, I engaged in activities I deemed befitting of a person as worthless as I deemed myself to be.
Shame is embedded in the experience of child sexual abuse. It survives in every part of your being long after the physical acts have ceased. Infused at the unconscious level, you have very little control over it once it's there. It is a life sentence.
That said, healing, self-love, triumph and total transcendence are all possible. But they require patience, compassion, encouragement and forgiveness. The require ongoing community support.
On that note, is with a swollen heart that I wish to thank the legions of strangers and friends alike from all over Australia who showed up and showed out for survivors by calling out the unnecessary shaming stunt on Monday. I have never seen anything quite like it …
It means a lot to me, and I know it means a lot to many other survivors as well.
Our foundation received a record amount of donations that day, bringing us one step closer to a future free from the sexual abuse of children and others.
Now that's a story worth publishing …
