Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop has unveiled its latest Valentine’s Day gift guide, and it includes everything from a $77,000 pair of ruby earrings to a $123 order of handmade crepes so that every holiday plan is covered.
The highly anticipated annual gift guide curated by Paltrow’s wellness brand is known for putting together a list of some of the things we wish for on Valentine’s Day, as well as many things we didn’t know we needed, or even knew existed.
The 2022 guide is no different, with this year’s version broken down into four sections: The F**k You Edit, The F**k Off Edit, The F**k Me Edit, and The F**k It Edit.
As expected, each section is dedicated to the various ways there are to celebrate Valentine’s Day, with the F**k You Edit including gifts for “lovers and friends,” or oneself, as the guide includes options such as a $200 black oak carved heart and a $185 white sturgeon caviar gift set.
And, because the Goop guide wouldn’t live up to its reputation if it didn’t include various vibrators, the section also includes 16 different vibrators of varying price points.
According to Goop, the F**k Me Edit, as one can imagine, targets those looking for gift ideas for themselves or their romantic partners this holiday, with the section described as “the things that hit the spot every time”.
For Goop, relevant gifts include $55 sea salt and caramel water-based lube and a pair of 14-karat-gold-plated wristlets, available for $250.
While it may not be specifically relevant to sexual pleasure, the section also includes various jewellery items, including a $158 gold chain necklace, which includes the description “Y not?”
Even if you decide you’re the only present needed this Valentine’s Day, Goop has you covered, as the guide includes a $90 velvet bow for when “you’re the gift”. As to be expected, the edit also includes a number of sex toy options, including many more vibrators, with the total number of vibrators coming in at 24.
The guide’s F**k It Edit, according to Goop, includes a curated list of gifts that are appropriate “if you’re looking for a grand romantic gesture”. According to Goop, this refers to the priciest items on the list, such as the aforementioned ruby earrings, as well as a $14,500 Hermes Kelly bag, an $18,400 heart pendant necklace, and a $16,750 diamond link bracelet.
If splurging on jewellery didn’t feel romantic enough, Goop also suggests a rose quartz checkers board that costs $1,895, or one of its iconic $75 candles in the scent This Smells Like My Prenup.
The final edit on this year’s Valentine’s Day guide, the F**k Off Edit, is dedicated to the “anti-Valentine’s Day crew,” according to Goop, which means gifts such as a pair of pricey loungewear, a $725 sherpa fleece poncho, a set of five “pre-rolled cones,” or a $295 “homecoat,” which is described as a “wearable marshmallow”.
The selection also includes Goop’s infamous vaginal eggs, which come in jade or rose quartz, and a vibrator.