A late-night trip to the Rabbit Hole, a pint of appley nectar at the Cider Bus, and endlessly spreading gossip about surprise headliners: these are just three of the great Glastonbury traditions. If nobody spreads baseless rumours about Harry Styles appearing as a guest with Billie Eilish/Elton John/The Wurzels, did the festival really even happen?
Next year's edition may be a way off yet, but the speculation around who could take up some of Glastonbury’s most coveted spots – namely, the three headliners, and Sunday afternoon’s Legend’s Slot – is already raging following the festival's ticket sales.
Glastonbury’s co-organiser Emily Eavis has been quick to respond to some of the biggest rumours around who could play Worthy Farm next year, and has denied a report which claimed to know all three headline acts for the festival. “As always, there is much speculation and excitement about who is playing at Glastonbury,” she said. “We are working on the line-up day and night at the moment, but it’s still changing every day. The story about our confirmed headliners is untrue.
“As always, we love your enthusiasm and guesswork – but accurate news on headliners will be with you sometime in the new year!”
In lieu of any actual knowledge or firm evidence, then, here are our most educated guesses for next year’s festival
Madonna
Admittedly, it was Emily Eavis herself who sparked this particular rumour. When Madge’s Celebration tour came to London last month, the festival boss was in attendance at the O2, and shared a photo on Instagram with the caption: “She’s back!” For context, Eavis doesn’t just whack any old snap on the ‘gram, and most of her previous posts relate to memories from previous Glastonbury festivals, and progress towards the next edition – this definitely felt like it could be a massive hint.
And so, almost immediately, eager fans began pouring into the comments section to ask if this pop comeback would continue on Worthy Farm. Elsewhere, Eavis fuelled the fire when she told Annie Mac and Nick Grimshaw that a “really big” female US solo artist had been in touch with the festival during an appearance on the DJ pair’s podcast.
Dua Lipa
When all sorts of wild speculation swirled around Elton John’s final UK show at Glastonbury last year, Dua was right at the top of many people’s rumoured guest star list – but though the pair collaborated on the song Cold Hearts, a Worthy Farm appearance wasn’t to be.
Now, the singer is back with a whole new era, and synth-pop banger Houdini most likely paves the way to Future Nostalgia’s follow-up. Though nothing is set in stone just yet, The Sun has reported that Glastonbury is currently locked in a battle with Coachella to try and bag a Dua headline slot, and claimed that she is currently weighing things up. “Dua loves Glastonbury and when she last played there she described it as her "favourite thing ever",” a source told the paper. “She knows how huge this opportunity is but it’s also the same for Coachella. Dua has been to both as a punter before and loves everything about them. She feels so honoured and excited to even be considered by organisers.”
Emily Eavis may have denied the recent headliner reports, but rather than denying any of the names, she simply said that headliners are not confirmed yet. Technically, that still leaves room for Dua’s negotiations, if there’s any truth to the story.
Coldplay
Chris Martin loves Glastonbury – in 2019, he made two different guest appearances (with Stormzy and Kylie) and has also headlined four separate times with Coldplay in previous years. The man is completely unavoidable!
This prompted a substantial amount of piss-taking – most of it lighthearted in nature, mind you – and more than one person spreading fake gossip about him putting in a shift checking wristbands or stewarding in the carpark.
Martin wasn’t initially amused by criticism around his guest appearances in particular – "sometimes these things hurt me because I'm human,” he said in response – but by 2022, he appeared to be over the whole thing. As well as attending the festival as a punter, he played a secret set at a Somerset pub on his way home. Could Coldplay be on the cards to headline for a fifth time? The festival-sized gap in their Music of the Spheres world tour certainly suggests this could be the case!
You never know who might pop in for a pint! @coldplay what a lovely man he is. pic.twitter.com/V3INYbD0rB
— The Stag inn (@StaginnHinton) June 27, 2022
Blur
Rumours have been swirling around a Britpop headliner for Glastonbury, but perhaps all of the speculation around Oasis – which has now been categorically denied by Liam Gallagher – was a red herring?
Their old rivals Blur have a distinct advantage given that they all seem to like each other to a reasonable degree, not to mention the fact that they’re not broken up at the moment. Helpfully, they’re already touring and releasing new music together, too. Glastonbury 2024 would come at about the right time for their latest album, The Ballad of Darren, to get a last victory lap.
Spice Girls
There are mixed messages coming out of the Spice Girls camp at the moment – Mel C has declared that she “would love” to play the festival, and during a solo appearance there last summer, she remarked: “The Spice Girls would go down a storm here.” The iconic girl band will celebrate their 30th anniversary next year.
Then, there’s that weird episode which saw the band’s Mel B accidentally announcing that Glastonbury 2021 was cancelled before anybody else knew it would be called off. Though Emily Eavis originally denied the suggestion, it turned out Mel B was spot on – and later that same month, organisers confirmed the festival would be postponed due to the pandemic. How on earth did Mel B know this? Was she simply lucky with her guess, or had she been chatting to the festival behind the scenes?Quizzed on speculation around the band headlining the festival this year, Geri Horner has said that the rumours are untrue (no specific mention of a legend’s slot, you’ll note) but mysteriously hinted that “at some point there will be something”. Whatever that means.
