Celebrity … ready! Gladiator … ready! Anyone up for starting another year hankering after the 1990s … ready! Because the reboot of Gladiators is back. Again. This time, in a one-off special to get us in the mood for the second series (which, fear not, will be more of the same), four celebs whip the Sheffield stadium into a foam-fingered frenzy and induce 16 ultra ripped and unitarded folk to flex their biceps and say mildly threatening things. Or, in Viper’s case, keep stumm and look really cross. Look, I can only apologise if this intro feels formulaic. I’m afraid this is what a close watch of Gladiators, which remains the ur-formulaic TV format, does to a critic. Especially one who came of age in the 90s. We can’t help it any more than the nation can help loving the sight of two fully grown humans going at each other on plinths with giant cotton buds.
First up is Rob Beckett (comedian, 38, from Bromley). He’s doing it for the slightly overweight dads watching at home and if he had a Gladiator name it would be Beaver. Because of his teeth. Which leads host Bradley Walsh, on typically smooth form, to corpse. Then there’s Joel Dommett (comedian and presenter, 39, from Bristol) who’s been training for this since he was nine and smacking his brother in the face with a broomstick. (His Gladiator name, on account of his asthma, would be Inhaler.) The female contenders are ex-BBC Breakfast presenter and triathlete Louise Minchin (55, from Chester), who gave up sport at 15, took it up again 35 years later, and is genuinely awe-inspiring; and comedian Ellie Taylor (40, from Brentwood), who deserves to win purely on the grounds that she gave birth eight months ago. At which point the pelvis of anyone who has had a baby will shudder at the thought of the Travelator.
