Gretchen Wiener knew girl code. Fans of the 2004 film Mean Girls will recall the moment she described “like, the rules of feminism” to Lindsay Lohan’s unsuspecting newcomer, Cady Heron. “Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends,” she quipped, and the rules of girl code were firmly established in a piece of pop culture history. Whether or not you’re as au fait as Gretchen, chances are you’re familiar with the phrase. But just in case you’re not a millennial and have never watched a romcom: girl code is a set of unwritten rules for women and by women that typically affect the way they behave in friendships.
A quick straw poll on my social media elicits definitions ranging from “not being judgemental” and “showing empathy”, to “texting when you get home” and “calling with a fake emergency to get someone out of a bad date”. Most of the time, though, as Gretchen says, the phrase is associated with romantic relationships. One of the core commandments of girl code? Thou shalt not sleep with a friend’s ex.
