The last time the European Championship was staged in Germany back in 1988, the fag-end of a violent era, it was suggested both the UK government and the English Football Association were quietly grateful for the team’s early exit as it meant the whole thing was cut short before England’s caravan of pain, fight-gestures and frisbeeing table tops could do any lasting damage.
This time around England’s progress to Sunday’s final has been largely serene. Four weeks in to Euro 2024 the most shocking displays of antisocial behaviour have been reserved for the Deutsche Bahn train departure boards, which are, in fairness, unstinting in their commitment to rolling updates on exactly how many additional hours travellers will need to spend wedged into a urine-soaked corridor outside Duisburg while a man from Egham sings Phil Foden’s On Fire very close to the nape of your neck.
