Former Love Island star Siannise Fudge was in tears after opening up to her online family about her battle with depression and anxiety. The 27-year-old model, who was an Islander in the 2020 winter series of the ITV dating contest, lost two stone after 'suffering behind closed doors.'
Sharing side-by-side photos of herself today and in the grip of her mental health struggle a year ago, Siannise told her Instagram followers that she would receive 'triggering' messages on social media saying she was too skinny and telling her she needed to eat. She was flooded with support as she told of her recovery and said: "I love my body now more than ever."
Siannise wrote: "To my amazing family. I have been waiting for the right time to speak about something that I had been living with and couldn't find the courage to share it, but thankfully now I feel ready.
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"I feel I have a responsibility to share this because somehow it might help one of you and that's all I want from this. To give anyone suffering the belief that you can overcome your obstacles in life.
"This time last year I was suffering with anxiety and depression behind closed doors. This resulted in me having insomnia, extreme mood swings and losing two stone in weight."
She told her followers: "I was insecure, lost all my confidence and I lacked love within myself. I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror because I didn’t recognise myself both physically and mentally. I completely lost myself and I wasn’t sure who I was as a person anymore.
"It affected my everyday life, my work and my relationships with friends and family. I felt like I wasn’t in control of my body, I lost interest in things I loved the most and I found it impossible to socialise. I would receive messages on social media saying I’m too skinny, I need to eat some burgers and I’ve had to unfollow you because looking at you makes me uncomfortable which was extremely triggering for me."
Siannise say she begged for help after going to hospital for checks and was told she was suffering from severe anxiety. "I went to hospital twice for checks, and for someone who is terrified of needles I begged them to take my blood and help me," she wrote.
"When the doctors came back with my results, they assured me they were all clear and there was nothing physically wrong with me and they told me I was suffering from severe anxiety," she explained.
And on her recovery she said: "I was lost, depressed and unhealthy, but somehow I developed the strength to work on myself. I turned every negative comment into fuel and motivation to get better and today I stand here, healed with a healthy mind and a happy heart. "I feel beautiful, confident and I love my body now more than ever. I never understood mental health until I experienced it myself and how important it is."
She added: "I urge everybody to be kind because you never know what someone is going through, everyone has a story. Every cloud has a silver lining, I am living proof of this."
In a video shared on her Instagram Stories Siannise said through tears that she was 'petrified' to share her story. "I'm literally a mess. I was honestly so petrified to share that but I know I'll be able to help so many of you," she said into the camera.
And she said: "It really was the hardest time of my life. When I look at that picture I think I'm just so proud of myself and how far I've come." Siannise added that her 'DMs are open' to anyone who has gone through a similar stuggle.
Siannise, from Bristol, finished second on the 2020 Love Island, which was set in Cape Town, South Africa, with Luke Trotman. The pair split last year after after almost two years together.
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