SO much of our lives is circular. Almost as soon as we’ve packed up the Christmas trees, removed the moratorium on paper and plastic recycling, and consumed the last of the stronghold of selection boxes, we’re back to folding up Valentine’s cards and polishing off the more obscure chocolate boxes (cherry liqueur, anyone? Anyone??). So, as the days creep ever so slightly longer and the mercury flips back and forward into double figures on the thermometer like a wrestler in a front suplex, suddenly Easter appears.
In Scottish football, it’s the season of Old Firm derbies, with three more to come in the next six weeks on the back of last month’s Viaplay Cup final. But do the apostles of these clubs celebrate the occasion in the way it was supposed to be these days?
“Why do we roll our eggs down a hill?” asks our inquisitive pre-schooler. Tame by comparison with “Where do babies come from?”, I’ll grant you, but this question still proves an awkward one to answer. “Because, 2000 years ago, Jesus died on Easter Friday, rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, and rolled a big boulder from the door of his tomb. Now eat your chocolate and be quiet.”
It’s a similar tale that surrounds the Glasgow derby in 2023. “Why are there no Rangers fans at the game?” asks one fledgling Celtic fan to their accompanying adult at Parkhead tomorrow. “Because, about 20 years ago, Rangers died around this time of year, they rose up the leagues and were jealous of how good Celtic had become and locked us out of Ibrox. Now eat your pie and be quiet.”
Rangers have risen from the ashes of 2012, claiming a league title to ‘stop the 10’ under Steven Gerrard in the pandemic-afflicted 2020/21 season. After the former England captain left for an ill-fated spell in charge of Aston Villa in the Premier League, antediluvian Ibrox hero Giovanni van Bronckhorst, one of the Dutch stars brought to the club by Dick Advocaat during a particularly lavish period of spending at the turn of the millennium that contributed to 2012’s disaster movie, replaced Gerrard and led his side to the Europa League final and Scottish Cup glory last year. Crucially, however, he lost their grasp on the Premiership title to Celtic, who under Ange Postecoglou have been enjoying their own mini renaissance.
Gerrard appeared to have banished the days of regular derby drubbings and back-to-back-to-back-to-back trebles for the Parkhead club, but was this the zenith of that rebirth? A false dawn, even? After completing ‘the Journey’, having been banished to the old Third Division in the wake of their financial travails just over a decade ago, Mark Warburton’s demoralising ‘going for 55’ first season back in the top flight, punctuated by visions of Moussa Dembele celebrating a derby hat-trick, 5-1 defeats home and away, Joey Barton, and Leigh Griffiths tying hooped scarves to goalposts in front of sun-soaked green-and-white-clad supporters in the Broomloan Stand all proved too heavy a cross to bear for those of a Rangers persuasion. A prolonged period of introspection ensued; as part of a series of woe-is-me outpourings from the PR department against rival clubs and governing bodies, dossiers were produced and media diktats handed down. The decision to reduce the away allocation on
derby day is the one loopy legacy policy from that period of particular navel-gazing that appears most difficult to shift. With the inevitable reciprocation of the away fans’ lockout at Parkhead this weekend, the move may yet come back to
bite Rangers.
While many will see this match as a free hit for Michael Beale’s side given Celtic’s commanding position in the Premiership table, paling in significance to the upcoming Scottish Cup semi-final meeting between the two great rivals, the opportunity it provides Postecoglou to tighten Celtic’s stranglehold on the domestic scene is huge.
And it is a chance to magnify all of those neuroses that helped bring about the closed-door policy in the first place: a rampaging Celtic side steam-rolling their opponents to put broad daylight between them in the league table, another stride towards a potential domestic treble, and the players lapping it up for all to see in front of 60,000 sun-drenched, green-and-white-adorned supporters will be difficult to swallow for those of an Ibrox persuasion.
It’s also a massive opportunity to stunt Rangers’ latest apparent revival under former Gerrard disciple Beale. If they do, it will perhaps remind the policy-makers at Ibrox that what goes around comes back around and the seeds of a rethink on the away allocations for this fixtures can start to take root.
Spring is our favourite season: the sun sometimes appears, flowers sprout out of the ground, leaves return to the trees. Maybe one day the great boulder blocking away fans will be rolled away and they can resume their pilgramages to Ibrox and Celtic Park for derby day again.
