As the mother of a teenage son, I am very pleased and relieved he is growing up in a world where masculinity is being redefined.
My generation was very black and white about masculinity. It was all about being tough, putting women in their place and not displaying any emotion.
Men were defined as strong by looking physically big, not crying, not participating in any household chores supporting a football team, doing DIY and being into cars.
Any who strayed from these stereotypes were not regarded as real men. I only ever saw my dad cry once – when he dropped me off at university. He had tears in his eyes, hugged me in silence and left. No ”I love you”.
At first I thought it was just an Asian dad thing, but as I got to know friends from different backgrounds, I realised it was actually just a man thing of that generation.
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I never found this testosterone-fuelled masculinity very attractive. It was definitely not what I wanted in a partner.
Thankfully, my husband Steve was raised by a feminist mother who instilled in him the virtues of helping around the house, championing equality and being in touch with his feelings. These were the qualities I was attracted to and still am after 18 years of marriage.
My friend Bradley Simmonds, a personal trainer and successful entrepreneur, is an example of new masculinity.
When I first met him, I thought from his physique that he would be a “lad”, and I certainly wouldn’t be having conversations about saving the planet with him.
How wrong I was. Bradley is how I want my son to be – sensitive, considerate, not afraid to share his feelings, a big supporter of equality, and caring of the world we live in.
I’m old enough to be Bradley’s mum, but he has become one of my closest friends. He’s all muscle, but underneath that exterior is an absolute gentleman.
I just love the way men such as Harry Styles, Timothée Chalamet and Tom Holland are pushing the boundaries of masculinity and paving the way for the next generation to really own their individuality.
I love how Harry wears a dress and pearls on a shoot, how Timothée oozes masculinity without the big biceps and Tom uses dance to define himself.
This new generation of young men are happy to look after their skin, be activists, tap into their mental health app and enjoy a pint in the pub after the footie. These men do cry and they are stronger for it.
