Summer 1998: Five are top of the album charts and have just released the video for their new single “Everybody Get Up”. In it, pupils rebel against a boring exam; they whack their rulers in unison against desks to summon the five bad boys every teacher and mother of girls should be terrified of. “Ha ha!” Jason “J” Brown laughs as he leads the boys in, wearing a hat to show he’s the eldest. Spiky-haired, chain-wearing Abz Love, the naughtiest one, turns off the power to the room. Then in comes the blond one, Ritchie Neville, along with gobby Scott Robinson (who throws an evil little grin to the other lads) and baby-faced Sean Conlon (obviously the sensitive one). Each has a different role within Britain’s biggest new boyband, but their joint identity has been crafted to appeal to teen girls for whom the other boybands seem too wet, too girly. Three years and 11 Top 10 singles later, it will all be over.
Today, the grown adult members of boyband Five are running an impromptu massage parlour. Scott stands over a seated and blissed-out Ritchie, giving his shoulders a kneading. This has piqued the interest of Abz, who wants in on the action; Scott dutifully obliges. J and Sean watch on amused. “We don’t need more stress,” Scott will say, almost sternly, in his gruff Essex accent in a few minutes’ time. Despite their mischievous image, this was a very stressed-out boyband – ill, in fact, from the 24/7 pressurised schedule of travelling the world promoting hits like the optimistic jam “Keep on Movin’” and rap-rock Queen collaboration cover “We Will Rock You” to insatiable fans. If they’re doing this again as a manband, it has to be different.
