The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee is almost upon us. The historic event marks Her Majesty’s record-breaking 70th year on the throne. This means, of course, that ardent royalists up and down the country will be digging out their old copies of Hello! magazine, revisiting well-thumbed photoshoots of bygone royal christenings and polishing off their commemorative merch. The rest of us will be typing “where to buy bunting” into Google and panic-buying Battenberg.
But while we assemble our paltry Jubilee preparations, London’s most chic hotels are in the process of executing far more elaborate tributes to the Queen. Expect perfectly triangular cucumber sandwiches, royal-themed (and potent) cocktails shaken by the country’s best mixologists and enough champagne to fill Buckingham Palace. So if the idea of making small talk with neighbours, and the local street party and overdosing on mini sausages sounds unappealing, why not check yourself into one of these hotels over the bumper bank holiday.
Claridges
The iconic ballroom has seen the likes of Queen Victoria, Audrey Hepburn, Winston Churchill, Kate Moss, and of course Elizabeth II, sipping martinis and throwing all manner of shapes across its floors. The hotel has been so popular among the royal family that it earned the nickname, the “annexe of Buckingham Palace”. With such royal patronage it seems fitting that the hotel has pulled out all of the stops to celebrate the Platinum Jubilee, with an archive exhibition of rare items from the Queen’s 1953 coronation, including original menus from the coronation dinner.
Rooms from £1,020 per night; claridges.co.uk
The Standard
The Standard hotel has roped in baking impresario Claire Ptak of east London institution Violet Cakes to create a metre-high cake available for guests exclusively over the Jubilee weekend. Ptak, who baked Prince Harry and Meghan’s wedding cake, will be whipping up a four-tier dark chocolate cake, spiked with blackcurrant-violet liqueur and filled with a blackcurrant compote, topped in violet buttercream, in a nod to the Queen’s favourite flavours. Hotel guests will be treated with a slice of cake and a bottle of champers on arrival. So, what are you waiting for, pack a fork and some elasticated trousers and get booking.
Rooms from £409 per night; standardhotels.com
Heckfield Place, Hampshire
Escape the noise over the bank holiday and raise a glass of organic, sulphate-free wine to her Majesty in the bucolic grounds of Heckfield Place. The Georgian country pile is the perfect place to live out your Jane Austen fantasy with a schedule of wild swimming, boating and croquet on the lawns. The hotel has laid on a smorgasbord of regal activities for the Jubilee weekend, kicking off with a five-course banquet in the Pleasure Grounds, followed by flower-crown making workshops and a cake decorating competition.
Rooms from £450 per night; heckfieldplace.com
Hotel Café Royal
No stranger to a big event, this hotel in the heart of Soho has hosted Oscar Wilde, Virginia Woolf, Princess Diana, Edward VIII, Muhammad Ali, Louis Armstrong, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Sean Connery, David Bowie… we could go on. The point being, they know how to throw a party, and the Queen’s Jubilee will be no different. Guests staying in the Royal Suite will be chauffeured to the Tower of London in the Daimler once owned by the Queen Mother, before being given a private tour of the Crown Jewels and served an a la carte meal in the Tower. Of course, the royal treatment comes with a price tag, so the hotel is also offering a royal jewels and afternoon tea experience for guests staying in non-royal rooms. This includes a private tour of the royal tiara collection followed by an afternoon tea and a lesson in tea etiquette. Pinky fingers at the ready!
Jubilee experience is priced at £14,795. Royal jewels and afternoon tea experience is from June 1 - October 1 and is priced at £12,295 per night; hotelcaferoyal.com
Cliveden
Whether you want to celebrate the Queen or just feel like you are a member of the royal family, this is the place to stay. The palatial hotel and ex-seat of the Dukes of Buckingham is positively dripping in crystal chandeliers, Italian marble and regal history. Spend the bank holiday soaking up the heatwave by the iconic Cliveden pool, the site of the beginning of the infamous Profumo Affair, or take a vintage boat out for a spin along the Thames. After working up an appetite, round off the day with a Jubilee-themed afternoon tea. On the menu you will discover the Queen’s favourite chocolate biscuit cake, coronation sandwiches and Queen Victoria’s favourite Cliveden snack, a Vicky sponge.
Rooms from £495 per night including breakfast; clivedenhouse.co.uk
The Connaught Hotel
This institution is synonymous with quintessential Britishness and has hosted the great and good of the British establishment over the centuries. Rumour has it, it was the spot where General Charles De Gaulle and Winston Churchill hatched the plan for the D-Day landings in 1944. The hotel has long been a bastion of conviviality in this village-like pocket of Mayfair, so it seems fitting then that the hotel is throwing its own street party on June 5 for hotel guests and the Mount Street community to celebrate the Jubilee. Expect bunting, long tables, a brass band and, of course, strawberries and cream.
The Connaught Jubilee street party will run from 12-3pm on June 5; the-connaught.co.uk
Beaverbrook, Surrey
Imagine soaring above the Surrey Hills in a hot air balloon, sipping a glass of Bolly and tucking into a platter of raw fish. Well this dream is very much a reality thanks to Beaverbrook’s Jubilee extravaganza. The home of Lord Beaverbrook, best pal of Winston Churchill and pioneer of the Spitfire jet, is surely the most fitting spot to raise a toast to the monarch who presided over the Second World War. But it’s not just hot air ballooning and Japanese fine dining that are on the agenda for the bank holiday, Beaverbrook have organised driving experiences, where guests are invited to take a vintage Jag out for a spin along with a picnic hamper that would make Fortnum and Mason’s green with envy.
Rooms from £770 per night; beaverbrook.co.uk
The Mitre, Hampton Court
Where better to spend the Jubilee weekend then on the grounds of Henry VIII’s favourite palace, Hampton Court. Following in the footsteps of the feast-loving monarch, The Mitre hotel is throwing a musical extravaganza on the banks of the Thames, but fear not, this party will involve a lot more Whispering Angel and a lot less bloodshed. From June 2-3 The Mitre’s gardens and terraces will be humming with music, from saxophonists and jazz bands to classical orchestras lulling guests into a post-lunch sleep to the dulcet tones of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.
Rooms from £310 per night; mitrehamptoncourt.com
The Goring
This Belgravia hotel is just a stone’s throw away from Buckingham Palace and where Kate Middleton stayed the night before her wedding to Wills. Thanks to its proximity to the palace, it is the perfect place to feel part of the Jubilee action without actually stepping foot on the Mall. Head chef Graham Squire has been delving into The Goring’s archives to uncover the morsels served to coronation guests 70 years ago and will be recreating the original menu of consomme, fillet of Edinburgh sole, asparagus in melted butter and Windsor strawberry parfait to commemorate. Obviously guests are encouraged to wash this all down with a Jubilee Fizz — a Champagne cocktail with minty Beirao and peach liqueurs.
