Michaela Gilewicz had dreamed of being in the army every single day of her working life — until she sustained a life-altering injury.
Medically discharged and struggling to accept the end of her military career, coming back to civilian life was incredibly difficult.
"There was this element of feeling like I didn't really fit in anymore," she said.
"I'd gone through this initiation process in the military, I'd been trained to think and walk and act and dress like I should have in the military, and then I get out into the real world and I don't really know how to do it anymore."
Ms Gilewicz, who now lives in Tasmania, was suffering severe anxiety, depression and PTSD, and despite finding a support service, it took her 12 months to walk in the door.
"When you approach those spaces there is an element of vulnerability that you don't necessarily get to display when you're in the military," she said.
"That goes for everyone but women especially have to act tough, be tough and live up to that standard just to sort of prove that you're worth the money you get paid.
"Breaking down that barrier and going into a space where there are other male veterans can be quite challenging."
She's now part of a growing chorus of women calling for more spaces and services that cater to the specific needs of ex-service women — which she says, might have helped her seek help earlier.
She said women who have experienced assault or violence during their service can be reluctant, or even triggered, by entering male-dominated spaces.
"It's not necessarily that the organisations can't help, the barrier is just walking in the door," she said.
"Feeling like a place is going to be safe for you is a really key element in that, and I think having a female veteran space would go a long way."
'Veteran hubs' one solution
Natalie Sankey is the national coordinator for Women Veterans Network Australia, an online network that supports ex-service women through Facebook communities.
She joined the navy in the late 80s, when women were only just allowed on ships.
There were no mobile phones, and men were not used to sharing ships with women.
"Whilst the work is very, very similar, if not the same, for men and women ... at certain periods of decades, there were more issues with sexual assaults, bullying and harassment," she said.
Women make up about 13 per cent of all veterans, and the rate of suicide for ex-service women is 127 per cent higher than the general population, according to figures from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.
Ms Sankey said Tasmania suffered from a lack of "critically important" women-only spaces and services, and that it's a problem that is felt nationwide, especially in regional areas.
"It's integral, we need to improve what we've got," she said, "particularly when it comes to those who have experienced any form of sexual assault, bullying, harassment, it's very hard to talk about those things.
"It's usually when they're with other veteran women that they feel confident enough to share their story."
She's now working with organisations like the RSL to increase their capacity to help target women.
RSL Tasmania chief executive John Hardy said he was aware of the reluctance of some women to enter RSLs, and is working to fix it by setting up veterans hubs that feel safer for them.
"There won't be images of conflict on the walls, and you won't be served a beer or hear the sound of poker machines in the background," he said.
RSL Tasmania has also been running forums across the state to understand how it can better help women.
Government support 'lacking'
Labor spokeswoman for veterans affairs, Jen Butler, said when she learned about the rates of suicide in female veterans, and the lack of targeted support for women, she was shocked.
"We think that it's time for the state government to consider different funding options," she said.
"There is a shared responsibility for state governments to build appropriate infrastructure, and the federal government actually then resources those services, and at the moment that infrastructure is lacking," she said.
The Tasmanian government said it provided funding for a range of programs that support the wellbeing of all veterans, "regardless of gender".
"This includes the veteran voucher program, which provides vouchers of $100 to offset memberships and registrations for gyms and sporting clubs for eligible veterans," a government spokesman said.
"In addition, the Tasmanian Government is proud to provide peak body funding to RSL Tasmania, who advocate and provides services on behalf of all veterans."
The Department of Veterans Affairs (DVA) said it created the Female Veterans and Veterans' Families Forum in 2016 to help build targeted support to women.
"The forum provides a platform for female veterans and veterans' families to generate ideas to solve issues facing their communities, co-design DVA products and services, and build networks," a spokesman said.
The federal government is also providing $7.5 million in grants for veterans' and families' hubs in Tasmania, where all veterans can access support.
Female veterans who may be struggling can contact Open Arms — Veterans & Families Counselling on 1800 011 046.
