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When Juan Ruiz’s two young sons were killed by a drunk driver in 2012, the devastated father, along with his wife, used their grief to advocate for tougher DUI laws.
But just 12 years later, on September 6, their lives were flipped upside down by another unthinkable tragedy: their young daughter, born after the loss of her brothers, was also dead.
Heartbreakingly, the child’s death seems to have been caused by another intoxicated adult in a car: her grieving mother.
“She needs help, she would never do this on purpose,” Ruiz told NBC Los Angeles through his tears.
Sandra Hernandez-Cazares, 42, and their three-year-old daughter, Ily Ruiz, were found unconscious inside a locked Ford Expedition outside their home in Anaheim, California, where temperatures soared to 104°F.
Ily was pronounced dead at the scene.
“I’m hurt, I’m broken, I’m devastated,” Ruiz said. “I’m angry, I’m very angry. That’s what I feel right now.”
Police found the car littered with several bottles of alcohol. Hernandez-Cazares was transported to the hospital where her blood-alcohol level was .30, nearly four times the legal limit for driving, prosecutors alleged.
She was arrested and charged with one felony count of involuntary manslaughter and child abuse causing great bodily injury, according to the Orange County District Attorney.
Ruiz, who says he’s a religious man, keeps asking God “why?”
“I don’t know why this is happening now,” he said. “And he’s not answering back.”
‘She was my princess’
Prosecutors say Hernandez-Cazares was ‘severely intoxicated’ when she lost consciousness while inside her parked car outside her home in the extreme summer heat earlier this month.
Family members began searching for Hernandez-Cazares after her other son, Lazarus, was never picked up from kindergarten, according to prosecutors.
Then they found a tragic scene. Ily was believed to have been dead for several hours when she was discovered inside the vehicle during the sweltering heat wave in California, according to the Anaheim Police Department.
When authorities responded to a call from relatives around 4.20pm, they desperately tried to revive the limp toddler, who doctors say died from heat stroke in what prosecutors described as “extreme temperatures.”
Ruiz, who had split from Ily’s mother, was working in an oil field in Texas to support his family when he got the news. He quit his job and rushed back to California.
“She was my princess,” Ruiz said about his only daughter.
Ily, named for the abbreviation of “I Love You” , had a “bubbly personality,” and a penchant for “everything princesses,” especially Frozen’s Elsa, her father recalled.
“I already lost two boys due to a drunk driver back on July 8, 2012,” Ruiz said. “This is my third child to lose so I am broken, I’m devastated and I’m angry.”
He said that ever since the death of their sons, their mother, whom he has been split from two years ago, has been struggling with alcoholism and depression.
“Obviously, she suffered through depression because of the death of our first two boys,” he explained. “Quite sure that after the birth of my little girl, she started post-partum depression. She was never diagnosed, but the symptoms were all there.”
Ruiz said he repeatedly said he was concerned for her mental wellbeing, but that his worries were often dismissed.
“I desperately tried to tell everybody that she needed help, but nobody listened to me. Nobody took it seriously.”
“She’d never do this on purpose,” he said. “She’s not a bad mom at all, she just needs help.”
A tragic loss 12 years earlier
Cyris Alexander Ruiz, 9, and Alaries Marcos Ruiz, 5, were killed by a drunk driver while the family was camping in North Dakota.
“We’re sleeping in a tent. Drunk driver just ran over us. Killed my boys instantly,” recalled their father.
Ruiz himself had suffered a collapsed lung and had to be airlifted off the campgrounds.
“They should have let me die there, too,” Ruiz said. “I would not be going through this again.”
After the boys’ tragic deaths, Ruiz and Hernandez-Cazares lobbied the state legislature for stronger penalties for those caught driving under the influence.
They also decided that Lazarus needed siblings– and so along came Ily.
“We had a conversation about Lazarus not growing up to be an only child,” Ruiz recalled. “And now I have just one child left.”
Meanwhile, Hernandez-Cazares – who is held at Orange County Jail on $150,000 bond – faces a maximum sentence of 12 years if convicted on all charges, according to prosecutors.
She made her first court appearance on September 10. Her arraignment is slated for October 1, according to online court information.
Orange County District Attorney Todd Spitzer said the “unimaginable pain of having your five-year-old and nine-year-old sons killed by a drunk driver is something from which you can never recover” and that the “devastating tragedy” has “ripple effects of grief.”
“A mother who was robbed of the chance to see two of her sons grow up because of the selfish decision of a stranger will have to live with the fact she will never get to see her little girl grow up because of the choices she made,” he said.
There has been an outpouring of support for Ruiz and his family.
A GoFundMe set up for Ruiz to help with funeral expenses has since raised nearly $30,000.
“Ily was such a beautiful and innocent soul with a very loving and bubbly personality,” his cousin wrote in the campaign. “It’s still hard to wrap our minds around the thought that ILY is no longer with us. She has been tragically taken from our family in such an unfathomable way, and all we want to do is ease the burden and pain her father Juan and the family are going through at this time.”
Ruiz said he does not want the mother of his children vilified and urges people to help those who are struggling with their mental health.
“Sandy was a good mom when she was okay,” he said. “I don’t want people to hate her. Just leave the hate for me.”
He hopes to use his grief this time to help others recognize when a loved one is unwell and get them the help they need.
“If you guys have loved ones or know someone that’s suffering, get them the help they need because tragedy happens,” he said. “There’s so many consequences and repercussions that could happen due to somebody’s actions or no actions.”
