Fantasy leagues are supposed to be all fun and games. Don’t tell that to Cincinnati Reds outfielder Tommy Pham, who went toe-to-toe with San Francisco Giants outfielder Joc Pederson and slapped him over a fantasy football beef. SI’s Jimmy Traina covered the brouhaha in his latest Extra Mustard article, but the slap did get my ol’ wheels turnin’: What’s actually worth fighting over when it comes to fantasy football?
And hey, don’t go out and beat up your leaguemates. We’re just here for the lolz, as the kids would say. Here are a few fantasy party fouls that you should avoid so you don’t get oops upside your head like Pederson.
1. Pay your league dues before the draft
Nobody likes to nag, so if that $20 entry fee is going to be a problem, don’t be a problem. League dues should be paid before the draft. It should go without saying yet without fail, there’s always that one guy who suddenly doesn’t answer texts or emails once they owe you some money. And conversely for commissioners: Get the winners their money within a week after the season ends. Being a commissioner is an often thankless gig, yet its responsibilities are sacrosanct. They are held to a higher standard, so don’t let payment tardiness spoil your friendships.
2. Trash talk is expected, but there are lines you don’t cross
Talking trash is a rite of passage! It all starts on the playground, and it certainly is a part of sports—and therefore fantasy sports as well. Who can forget the silly insult exchange scene from The Sandlot? Let’s maintain some decorum and respect people’s boundaries though, fellas. Don’t talk about family or significant others. Really, you should allow your team to do most of the trash talking. So, no, you shouldn’t name your fantasy team after your buddy’s ex.
3. Don’t start players on their bye week
You have one job: Make the most of your lineup every week. There are numerous ways to accomplish that goal, whether it’s making trades, hitting the waiver wire or churning the bottom of your roster to get the most out of every roster spot. The last thing you have to do for each matchup is set your lineup—the bread and butter of every fantasy league. The cardinal sin of any fantasy manager is not updating your lineup--and even worse, starting players on their bye week. Mistakes happen. Life gets in the way. Still, you have to do it!
4. No quitting, cheating or collusion
So your team stinks. The season is halfway done and there’s no salvaging this sinking ship. That doesn’t mean you should be the guy who stops logging in and updating your team. It doesn’t mean you should trade your best players to your buddy. As The Big Lebowski’s Walter once declared: “Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.”
