I recently wrote about a Supreme Court joke on the Simpsons. Now, Family Guy has taken on SCOTUS.
In this episode, Justice Brett Kavanaugh visits the Pawtucket Patriot Brewery where Peter Griffin works. Kavanaugh runs into the brewery screaming, "I love beer" and is panting in excitement.
Peter asks why Kavanaugh keeps screaming "I love beer." He replies, "It's kinda how I got my job." Peter and Kavanaugh proceed to do a double keg stand. Peter says "you're pretty cool for a Supreme Court Justice." Kavanaugh replies, "That's all I want people to say."
They proceed to a synchronized swimming routine in a vat of beer.
Kavanaugh says, "All people want to do is scream at me in steak houses." Griffin replies, "My wife hates you which makes me secretly like you." Griffin wakes up in a drunken stupor wearing Kavanaugh's robe. Kavanaugh wrote Griffin a note, saying "I don't want my life anymore, you take it, Brett." Griffin then pukes all over the Marshalls, who say "it's him." Griffin says, "it's so cool that a guy named Brett gets to decide if women can have abortions."
The next scene jumps to the Supreme Court. The Justices are not sitting in the correct order, but I'll allow it. The Chief asks "So did anyone watch anything interesting last night?" Justice Thomas, thinking to himself, says he will finally say something after thirty years. But then Griffin, posing as Kavanaugh, interrupts. Griffin turns to Justices Sotomayor and Barrett, and says "Dears, can I get a cup of coffee?" He then asks Justice Jackson. Justice Kagan replies, "stick it, Brett!" She then takes out a cigar and puts her feet on the bench.
The next scene parodies the Justices as the "Supreme Friends," like the classic D.C. Comics "Super Friends." It begins "Gathered together from Harvard and Yale, except the last lady Trump appointed…" Roberts is depicted as Superman, and smashes asteroids that say "Precedent." (If only they knew.) Justices Thomas and Alito are depicted as Batman and Robin. Justice Kagan is Wonder Woman, driving an invisible car. Justice Sotomayor is Aquawoman. Justices Barrett and Jackson are the Wonder Twins. Justice Kavanaugh is the space monkey. Justice Gorsuch, alas, was forgotten. The announcer blares, "They're trying not to die until someone from their party is President."
In the next scene, Peter's friends are at the bar. They order beer, but they are all out. "The Kav drank it all." Kavanaugh says that "We got to party together, this weekend, at Squee's mom's beach house."
The Supreme Court is transformed into "The Voice" where the judges sit in swivel chair as contestants sing. All nine Justice start singing Watermelon Sugar High by Harry Styles.
The scene moves to Justice Kavanaugh's chambers. Peter learns from his family that the Court is considering a case to "repeal" gay marriage.
The Court was deadlocked 4-4 on whether to repeal gay marriage. Peter votes last. Roberts asks "Gay marriage, what is your decision?" Peter replies, "Alito is right, the Constitution says nothing to protect gay marriage." Alito jumps in, and says "Yeah, fetuses will be so excited to hear that." Peter says, "But also all people are equal under the law, which is why we must not only ban gay marriage, we have to ban straight marriage."
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