Sibling feuds are a typical part of growing up. But when you add favoritism to the equation, that supposed healthy rivalry can breed resentment and last beyond childhood.
A woman had this issue with her heavily favored adopted younger sister, who had seemingly grown up spoiled. Things reached a boiling point when the latter deliberately went against her sister’s wedding dress instructions because she didn’t like the required color.
The motif fiasco caused family drama during the ceremony, forcing the author to kick her sister out. Her actions garnered mixed reactions from relatives, which urged her to seek answers from the AITAH subreddit.
We also spoke with Diana Parkinson, a UK-based relationship expert who discussed favoritism among family members and its damaging effects.
Feuds among siblings are unavoidable, and they are part of growing up
Image credits: Dimitri Kuliuk / pexels (not the actual photo)
This woman experienced having a younger sister who was heavily favored by their parents
Image credits: Engin Akyurt / pexels (not the actual photo)
Their complicated relationship came to a head during the author’s wedding where she was forced to kick her sister out of the ceremony
Image credits: Juliano Astc / pexels (not the actual photo)
Her actions caused backlash within the family, which urged her to ask the internet if she was in the wrong
The author provided an update on the situation
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alive_Baker8802
Favoritism could be a reflection of a parent’s childhood passed onto their offspring
While the reason for the parents’ favoritism towards the author’s younger sister is quite apparent, Parkinson says those who play favorites are often recreating their childhood experiences.
“Sometimes it may be a parent resents their own or the opposite sex, so if they believe boys to be inherently troublesome, that’s what they will experience,” she told Bored Panda.
Even if the author didn’t have a problem with the biased treatment against her, Parkinson says favoritism carries long-term damage within the family dynamic. She says it could be “extremely distressing,” especially a significant life event, which in the author’s case was her wedding.
In hindsight, Parkinson says the parents should have established a “loving and honest relationship” with their two daughters, set “firm boundaries,” and addressed all worries and concerns growing up.
“As parents, we should bring our children up to love and support one another,” she said.
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s on the parents to undo their child’s spoiled behavior brought on by favoritism
Unfortunately for the author, she has little to no power to change her sister’s ways. She also has to live with the burden of perpetually feeling like she is the second best, which has manifested in different ways throughout her life.
“For the unfavored, they learn to live with never being good enough, which affects their academic ability and social skills,” Parkinson explained.
In this case, the parents are responsible for taking action. In addition to sending their daughter to therapy, they can also tweak their parenting approach.
Writer and educator Rebecca Stanborough, MFA, advises incorporating healthy, positive conversations. In an article for Healthline, she also emphasized the importance of setting boundaries and keeping distance when necessary. An intense situation may require an exit strategy to prevent further damage.
As for the author, she was undermined and blatantly disrespected. She had been tolerant towards her sister her entire life, and the wedding dress fiasco may have been the last straw. She likely knew her sister would act out and did what the situation called for at the time.
Now, we’d like to hear from you, readers. Was the author out of line for kicking her sister out because of a wedding dress requirement? Or was it necessary, given the circumstances?
Image credits: ALINA MATVEYCHEVA / pexels (not the actual photo)
Most people sided with the author
While some faulted her and everyone involved
