Most intrusive thoughts are mere figments of the imagination. But if something in your gut tells you otherwise, you may want to stop and listen.
A woman is going through this ordeal with her husband, whom she long suspected could be the father of his best friend’s four children. However, seeing some telling signs made her believe she may be onto something.
To complicate matters, one of the presumed love children began a romantic relationship with her eldest daughter.
The author is understandably at a loss as she shares her lengthy story online. Scroll and read through what could easily be a romantic drama film plot.
Some intrusive thoughts are difficult to shake off
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A woman is in a complicated relationship involving her husband and his close childhood female friend
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She began suspecting he may be the father of his friend’s children
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All of their kids grew up together and built a close friendship
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Her suspicions grew after noticing some telling signs
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She held her tongue to avoid family drama
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To complicate the situation, one of the presumed love children began a romantic relationship with her eldest daughter
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The author grew more confused as the situation progressed
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As her dilemma begins
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She knows it would be a lose-lose situation for her if she spoke up, so she is asking the internet for answers
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Gut feelings are a way for the body to convey a message the mind can’t
The author couldn’t shake off her hunch, and her gut feelings are seemingly turning out to be accurate. If something inside you tells you something, experts say it could be the body’s way of communicating in a way that the brain isn’t doing at that moment.
In an article for Psychology Today, clinical psychologists Dr. Shoba Sreenivasan and Dr. Linda Weinberger pointed out a connection between the brain and gastrointestinal tract via the vagus nerve, allowing the sending and receiving of signals from the body.
As the article explains, the brain evaluates gut feelings before tapping into stored knowledge and comparing it to the ongoing situation. This happens without using our conscious mind and analytic information processing, making it appear like a product of intuition.
“The brain learns through previous experiences that are stored as a kind of long-term memory that can later impact our behaviors and future emotional responses,” an excerpt from the article reads.
Both doctors noted that gut reactions may profoundly affect a person’s decision-making. In the author’s case, she kept her guard up until she noticed those telling signs.
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Collected experiences affect and potentially enhance gut feelings
Learning experiences holistically improve a person through time. As we wise up, our sense of intuition likewise sharpens. It is why we can feel more inclined to trust our gut in some high-pressure situations.
It applies to everything in life, whether making a business decision or, in the case of the author, trying to read someone they have doubts about. In doing so, you may notice specific cues in their behavior.
As an entrepreneur, author, and speaker Russell Futcher pointed out, these cues usually appear in people’s body language and micro-expressions.
“Our gut feelings are only as good as the patterns we draw them from,” Futcher wrote in an article for his website.
The author is close to both her husband and his friend. She likely knows them almost inside out and has grown familiar with their behavior patterns.
Given the signs she noticed, her suspicions may bear some weight. She is also commendable for maintaining self-awareness through a difficult time.
People in the comments shared their advice, as the author answered some of their questions
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But the story didn’t end there, as it took a dramatic turn
“I previously said that I was going to do a secret DNA test, that I had decided on that course of action. In the end, I couldn’t go through with it, and now I am regretting that, because the window to do so has essentially closed. I just felt like it would be out of line for me to do that to another person’s child behind their back. Ethically, it was dicey. I’ve since consulted with my lawyer as many commenters suggested, and she advised me against doing so, because no matter what the results were, it would make me look bad in a potential divorce proceeding. But I really wish I had done it anyway, and just not told anyone. Because I really, badly need to know, and I still don’t know for sure. Likewise, I wanted to tell Sophie in confidence, but the more I thought about it…even that seemed over the line. Like I had no right to plant such ideas in her mind about her father without even talking to him first.”
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The author couldn’t bear the burden any longer, so she confronted her husband and his friend
“So, what I ended up doing was confronting Luke and Amy. I made it clear how much I love both of them, but a combination of clues had led me to notice the similarities between Luke and Amy’s children – and I didn’t even list all of them in the original post. (For example, Luke has been a sleep-walker in the past. So have Sophie, Tom, and Adam) I said over and over, how much they meant to me and how I didn’t want to believe it, but the thought had crept into my mind in the past. How I had dismissed it before, but now, with Tom and Sophie having crushes on each other, it became necessary to pose the question. So I asked if they had ever crossed the line, if Luke had ever been unfaithful, if there was even the slightest possibility that any of Amy’s children were his. I was just trying not to cry.
Well, they reacted exactly as I would have expected. Their responses were perfect and so very well rehearsed. I genuinely can’t tell if it was honest emotion or powerful gaslighting. Amy was more upset than Luke, or at least more outwardly upset. She was angry, offended at the accusation. Luke just seemed heartbroken by it. Maybe they were just acting, but I don’t know. Somehow, they had reasonable responses to all of the points I brought up. They asked questions I didn’t know how to answer. I had never objected to them having alone time before, why did it suddenly bother me now? Do Amy’s children really resemble Luke that much, or are things like hair color pretty basic traits to have in common? The whole family had always treated Amy and her kids as part of our unit, and I had previously commended Luke for stepping up and being a father to Amy’s kids since they didn’t have one…why was I now saying it was a bad thing? What exactly did I want them to do? How could I think such a thing about them? Why had I waited so long to say something?
Luke was more understanding than Amy. He respected my feelings, or at least he acted like he did. Amy appeared to feel more betrayed by what I said. I ended up apologizing several times even though I’m not sure I did anything wrong. Luke also apologized for “anything he’d done” to indicate he was unfaithful. I asked Amy more pointedly that, if not Luke, who HAD fathered her children? She snapped back that it was none of my business, and I could tell she was in no mood to get personal or vulnerable with me after my accusations. I’m not proud to say that I lost my temper, and said that after everything we had done for her and her children, such information was not a lot to ask and perhaps she owed it to us. I regretted the words as soon as I said them, but Amy shouted back that *I* had never done anything for her, that it was Luke and his parents who had kept her afloat all these years, not me. She went on a longer tirade about how I had always acted superior to her, which I don’t believe I did, though it’s possible that I gave off that vibe unintentionally. Luke did his best to calm her down, but the room was still fraught with tension.”
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Unfortunately, she had reached a dead end in her pursuit for the truth
“It’s driving me to the edge of madness. There is a way to be certain, of course. Not certain of my husband’s fidelity, but of the paternity of Amy’s children. So I asked Luke, for my own peace of mind, for the sake of our daughter, and for our family unit, if he could please get a DNA test done, a paternity test. I went on to say that I knew he disliked and distrusted such things, but that I really needed this. I could see the pain in Luke’s eyes. But he very reluctantly agreed to participate in a DNA test. Unfortunately, Amy did not, and that’s where we hit a roadblock. I was afraid of this. But Amy was infuriated at the whole concept and told me in no uncertain terms that I would not be getting samples of her children’s DNA.”
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She then decided to talk to the two children
“I ultimately decided that whatever else happened, I needed to warn Sophie about the situation, and do so immediately. To hell with Luke and whatever that meant for him. To hell if that meant all of the kids learned of the situation. She needed to be aware of what she might be getting herself into.
Sophie was quiet during all of this, and even after I had stopped talking to let her respond, she paused for quite a while, before she finally said that we needed to get Tom and discuss this with him as well. I had no objections, so she texted him to meet with us. They’re both skipping school today, but Sophie gets straight As and this is extremely important, so I looked the other way. Tom came to meet us, and Sophie had me relay what I told her to him as well. I apologized to him for any indication I might have given that I didn’t think he was “good enough” for my daughter, and to both of them for not telling the truth sooner.
Tom and Sophie just gave each other this oddly knowing stare.
And, Reddit, that’s when they blew my mind.”
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And found out how both of them hatched a plan to confirm the infidelity
“Sophie spoke first, with Tom backing her up. They revealed to me that in fact, they had already known about Luke and Amy, or at least they had strongly suspected. Apparently Tom has overheard conversations that are…questionable. As well as overhearing the sounds of sex from Amy’s room, sounds he would just as soon forget, but all signs point to Amy’s lover having been Luke. Tom had wondered for a very long time, and back in January, he finally voiced his fears to Sophie. She agreed with them. She could also see a strange sort of closeness between her father and his mother. They agreed that Luke was likely having an affair. They agreed that, because of Kaylee’s allergy, Luke might very well be her father. And if Kaylee was Luke’s daughter, the rest of Tom’s siblings could be Luke’s as well. Tom could be Luke’s kid himself. The math led them to the same places as me.
So Sophie and Tom came up with a little plan. As it turns out, they are not in love! They never were. They’re still just best friends. But they had the same instinct as me, that they didn’t want to blow up our entire family and social unit without more direct evidence (which Tom has been working on acquiring) and though Sophie very badly wanted to tell me the truth, she was hesitant because she knew it would shatter me. She had no idea I was already suffering in silence. Sophie apologized for not voicing her suspicions sooner. Honestly, we both cried, and I made sure she understood that none of this was her fault, and that I loved her very much.
So, the bottom line is, Sophie and Tom already know they could be half-siblings and aren’t actually interested in being a couple. That was their idea for how to rock the boat. To force Luke and Amy to do something about the situation rather than just keep making a fool out of me. I also think it was Tom/Sophie’s way of punishing them for their affair. Teenagers can be vindictive. So they concocted this idea that they wanted to date.
Either way, the question now is…where to go from here? We have to figure that out. I will say that it is such a relief to have told Sophie and I feel like an elephant has taken one of its feet off my chest. Having her in my corner, and Tom in my corner as well, means a lot to me, and even though I basically just got it absolutely confirmed that Luke is sleeping with Amy…I kind of already knew that anyway. So now it’s just a question of how to proceed. Tom has already volunteered to submit his DNA so I can compare it to Luke’s, and both he and Sophie advise me not to tell Luke and Amy when I do this, which I agree with. They’re both completely on my side, which means more to me than I can ever express to them. Tom has also been trying to set up a camera in Amy’s room to catch her and Luke in the act. Sophie told me flat out that I needed to divorce her Dad, and hearing that from my own daughter made it clearer than it’s ever been. She’s right.”
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The woman did more digging and found the truth
“The last time I looked in Luke’s phone was three months ago, around the point Sophie and Tom began to go around claiming they wanted to date. I found nothing. While I know how to search for recently deleted photos and didn’t see any, my comments taught me how to find recently deleted messages. So, when Luke was asleep, I did just that. Swiped his phone and brought it downstairs, checked recently deleted. I am glad I did but I also wish I had not, because I’m still reeling from the pain. Sure enough, a conversation with Amy had been deleted. Recent texts talking about the conflict between her and me, with Amy describing me as a “problem” and Luke trying to pacify her – without defending me at all, to be clear. They both alluded to how they had “expected” this for a while and just hoped it would never happen – presumably me accusing them of having an affair. While the whole conversation and the fact that it was deleted was sketchy, nothing was actually admitted. So I scrolled a bit higher, to a few days before the fight. Amy’s messages got a bit more flirty. Then. I saw it. Five days before I confronted them, Amy had sent Luke a topless pic. A selfie with no shirt or bra.
Guys, I teared up. I knew it was true, I knew it in my bones, but seeing the proof still cut me like a hot knife. I exited the messages app and checked Luke’s recently deleted photos. Sure enough, the same selfie was there, and others. Amy topless, Amy naked, in various poses to show off. There were pictures of the two of them together, cuddled and pressed close like a couple. In some of these, she was naked. In some, they both were. There were videos. Amy sent Luke a video message of herself topless, and I had to actually hear her voice talking to him in a tone that made me sick, about how she was sending him a quick video to “help him get through the day.” In more than one video, she called him her “boo” and, hearing her call him that, I almost vomited. Stopped looking at that point, I’d seen enough. For about five minutes anyway, then a strange compulsion to keep searching led me to check Luke’s laptop. I knew enough of his passcodes to access his iCloud storage and…yeah, basically more of the same.”
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And life as she knew it fell apart
“I snapped. All these years, I had been telling myself I had to be wrong, that it couldn’t be true. Well, it was true. I know that no one forced me to look at as much of the evidence as I did, but I’m still hurting very badly from having seen it and in that moment, I wanted to act, so I did. I called my lawyer, who is a remarkable woman. It was the middle of the night, so I had to call her twice, and she picked up. Though I had woken her, when I asked her to come by and said it was an emergency, she agreed. I also asked her to draw up the paperwork and have it ready. She told me that she’d already had it ready since I first reached out to her. As I waited for her, I went through the necessary channels on Luke’s laptop to make sure he wouldn’t be able to remotely disconnect our access to his little stash, changing passwords and all that. My lawyer (Let’s call her “Paige”) arrived, and I went outside to greet her in the car. Spent a good half hour in the passenger seat just crying, and she was great about that, before I passed her Luke’s phone and his laptop, with all the information she needed to use them. She warned me that this could be considered theft. So I asked her to forward and print out copies of everything she could and then bring the items back, because I just couldn’t bear to do it myself. She agreed.
I went back inside, and then, I packed up Luke’s things while the house slept. At one point Owen got up to use the bathroom and asked me what I was doing, but I told him I was just cleaning. Luke stirred once or twice while I was in the bedroom but did not wake. I got all of his things packed into trash bags and I loaded up the car. That’s when I woke him up, and told him to come outside. He was confused and half asleep, but he did notice things were missing. I ignored his questions and just told him to come with me. So he followed me outside. Once we were by the car, I pulled out the divorce papers and officially handed them to him. That was about when he figured out what I was doing, and he tried to talk me out of it. Tried to be sweet with me, to be tender. He kept insisting that he loved me and that there had never been anything with Amy. Kept trying to persuade me not to tear our family apart. Even two weeks ago, I might have wilted under him because the manipulation and gaslighting were truly masterclass, but I can see through it now. I didn’t tell him that I knew he was full of s**t, I didn’t tell him what I had seen, I just told him we were finished. He tried a different approach. He refused to go. Stated firmly that our children were his too, and that even if we were separating, I had no right to just decide the kids would stay with me over him. This was where I very coldly presented the paperwork reminding him that the house is in my name, and told him under no circumstances would my kids be staying with Amy. He argued a while longer, but in the end he decided to be the “bigger person” and “keep the peace.”At that moment I didn’t care where he went. Before he left, he did ask about his phone and laptop, and I waved him off by saying they were in one of the bags. Bought a little time.
I couldn’t sleep for the rest of that night. I cried more. Eventually I realized I’d have to wake my children up early and explain to the extent that I could. Naturally, I woke Sophie first. I told her that I had kicked her father out, and that I had discovered evidence of an affair on his devices. I did not specify what kind of evidence and she did not ask. I woke up the others and gently told them that their Dad had gone to stay somewhere else for a while. That I wasn’t sure where, but from now on things were going to be different. Louise was the one to ask if we were getting divorced, and I couldn’t lie to her. I told her yes. Owen asked when they could see their father again and I wanted to cry. Sophie was a very big help, urging her siblings to be sympathetic to me right now and worry about Dad later. I knew better than to “poison” them against their father (Paige warned me against doing that as well) so I only told Sophie that the affair was confirmed since she had already been in the know. However, as the kids were getting ready for school, Owen approached me and asked me point blank if it was about Amy. If Luke was going to be with her instead of me. I couldn’t answer, but I suppose that’s an answer on its own.
As for Amy, she’s radio silent. Tom has told Sophie that she’s acting like nothing is wrong but is clearly stressed out. That when her children ask, she makes the same sort of claims. That I am having some kind of emotional, nervous breakdown, and pushing her away, as well as Luke. She doesn’t mention anything about my accusing them of an affair, but still puts it all on me. Amy has not reached out to talk to me directly, and I have not tried talking to her since our big argument. I haven’t really told my kids anything, just that I’m having disagreements with Luke and Amy – though I was very clear that it is NOT a question of my mental health. Honestly, I think they all kind of know what’s going on. Sophie continues to be my rock, as I try to be for her and the others, and Tom continues to be our spy in the ranks. Right now, my biggest regret is the stress that all of this is causing on the children, which I knew it would, but it still needed to be done.
My life has fallen apart. But it was never my life.”
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