Family and friends of a Co Down rugby player, who sadly died last year, have teamed up to celebrate his life and raise much needed awareness of mental health in the local community.
Just over six months ago on December 2nd 2021, Ryan Mills from Newtownards took his own life at the age of 30.
This not only shocked his close group of friends but the wider community too and more importantly his family who mourned the loss of a beloved son, brother and uncle.
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Ryan was an advocate for mental health himself, helping to raise money and awareness for several different charities, work that is now being carried on in his name by both his loved ones and his teammates at Ards Rugby Football Club.
The Hamilton Park club was rocked by the death of the popular player and club member late last year.
Just prior to his death Ryan was among 20 people, including Ards' players, members and supporters, who helped raise cash in aid of Movember, a charity which focuses on raising awareness for men's health issues, both mental and physical.
Together, the team topped the charts of teams raising money in Northern Ireland, coming in 17th overall in the UK with £4,600.
However, as the club celebrated news of their fundraising success, they became aware that Ryan had taken his own life.
Ryan's family and friends believe there is not enough being done in this country for mental health and suicide prevention.
His sister Cloe told Belfast Live : "Ryan was the most fun loving and caring person you could have ever met. He wouldn't have walked past you in the street without stopping to talk to you and make sure you were ok. He was always there 24/7 for everyone else.
"He was my best friend and we were stuck together at the hip our whole lives. But whatever was going on inside, he bottled it up and there was never a sign of what was to come. I wasn't expecting that phone call from my dad telling me that he was gone."
Recalling the last time she saw Ryan, she added: "The day before he died, he was round at my house with me and my two girls.
"It was just a normal day, playing with the kids and having a catch up and a laugh because we hadn't seen each other for a few days. He was the Ryan I had always known and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary with him."
Six months on, Cloe says she and her family are full of answered questions.
"The last few months are just a blur and we don't know one day from the next or whether we're coming or going.
"The after effects of this are just horrible and the constant questions that you're almost beating yourself about like could you have done something, did you miss anything or could you have prevented this?
"Those questions never go away and you ask yourself them every single day. It's the trauma that it leaves the family with as well and not just us but his friends too. The kids keep us going but it's just not the same without him," she said.
Cloe and the family are also full of praise for the team at Ards RFC.
"They have just been brilliant and there with us every step of the way over recent months. Every single person has just been outstanding to the whole family," she said.Cloe and the family are also full of praise for the team at Ards RFC.
"They have just been brilliant and there with us every step of the way over recent months. Every single person has just been outstanding to the whole family," she said.
A memorial rugby match in memory of Ryan took place last month to honour a young man who enjoyed nothing more than playing a game of rugby on a cold and wet day with his team mates.
The event on Saturday, 14th May was the idea of Ryan’s close friends Robert and Ben Smith, who with the Mills family’s blessing set about organising the event alongside Cloe.
The Ryan Mills memorial rugby match saw £16,176 raised for two local charities doing invaluable work to raise mental health awareness including Codo Drops, a local drop-in centre based in Bangor and supporting people with mental health problems.
The second local charity was SPORTS (Suicide Prevention Offering Recovery Through Sport) which helps to provide clubs with knowledge and awareness of mental health difficulties, offer training opportunities and provide vital service links to encourage early intervention and support.
Ards Rugby Club’s Director of Rugby Stevie Nutt said: “We are proud to have been able to help deliver a fitting day in Ryan’s memory, to highlight Mental Health Awareness Week and raise funds for two local charities Sports Mental Health NI and the Codo drop in centre in Bangor.”
The day kicked off at 6am when 12 Ards Rugby players led by Stevie Bell set off for their marathon walk around the Ards area.
This included a moment of reflection at Ryan’s graveside before the walkers returned onto the Hamilton Park pitch in the afternoon ahead of the kick-off by Ryan’s dad, Martin.
Prior to the match the Mills family unveiled a beautiful bench that will sit proudly outside the club's changing facilities. This will be in front of a mural designed by the Ards Rugby Youth players and completed by Chris McGuiggan from Codo Drops.
Stevie added: “The score on the day didn’t really matter, what was more important was the support for the family and friends of Ryan, the raising awareness of Mental Health and the funds raised for the charities.
“Credit must go to so many for making the day such a success, all the players, coaches, organising committee, local businesses and the many spectators and friends who turned up to support the event.
“It was an amazing turnout for the Ryan Mills memorial match and that’s a testament to the man himself.”
If you or someone you know is in distress or despair, call the freephone 24/7 crisis helpline Lifeline on 0808 808 8000.
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