Visionary modder and YouTuber Blurbs has decided Todd Howard's fate. He must shed his mortal accomplishments as a Bethesda director, for he will henceforth be known as an immortal snail in Fallout 4.
"Ah!" Blurbs gasps in a recent video titled "Fallout 4, but if Todd Catches You, You Die." "Oh!" he exclaims again later, shocked by his own cardboard cutout model of Howard saying patronizingly, "All of this just works," as he notoriously did in reference to Fallout 4's game engine at an E3 presentation 10 years ago. But not even multiple bullets could stop cardboard Todd from inching slowly toward Blurbs, then killing him instantly with his touch of death.
"Are we about to kiss?" Blurbs says a second before Todd bumps into his Vault Dweller and takes his life without remorse. It's not even really his fault, though – this hateful behaviour is just part of who he is as a snail. He's modeled after an ancient Reddit experiment that dares to wonder, "You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?"
Blurbs' strategy involves reminding cardboard Todd where he came from. "Go back to making Elder Scrolls 6," the modder demands. But, come on, there's no deterring an immortal snail like Todd Howard. Blurbs dies in an explosion while Todd continues to flash his permanent smile. It just works.
