Relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr sheds light on these unusual relationships - as brutal serial killer Levi Bellfield is set to marry, what is it about women attracted to such violent prisoners?
Whereas each case is unique there are some common strands in the personalities and lives of these women.
These women are different to those who simply write to prisoners as a gesture of goodwill. Women who go on to get romantically involved with ‘lifers’ are often quite lonely and possibly estranged from their families.
Such isolation is a starting point for them looking for solace in places that other women wouldn’t look.
Add to this the “saviour trait”. Some of these women feel they are able to save a “bad” man. They develop a need to show him a way to a better life, even though that life will be lived in prison. This sometimes highlights a narcissistic trait of believing they are the one to change someone from evil to goodness.
Sometimes they may have an unexpressed thrill-seeking aspect to their nature. They find they like the thrill of engaging with someone who has done such dire things.
They might feel a thrill when they engage with the most violent criminals. In their own minds they know their physical safety is protected. However, there is still that ‘thrill’ of knowing how others will be shocked by them visiting such a prisoner.
There is also an aspect of their personality that romanticises things. They romanticise the notion that people - even the most evil of people - can change.
Another aspect to such situations is the shock factor that such women know they can use. If they are angry with their family or friends then they can get back at them by shocking them with their new-found relationship with a prisoner.
Sadly, many such women also have incredibly low self-esteem. They don’t see themselves as worthy of a proper relationship with someone who is loving and kind.
They can also be extremely naïve and fall for the “charms” that murderous sociopaths can put on in abundance. Where the majority of people are revolted by the thought of forming a relationship with a serial killer, when you’re damaged yourself and expect very little from life, this might be your only relationship.
On the darker side, some of these women may be sociopaths themselves.
They get a vicarious thrill knowing they are with a dangerous man. They enjoy hearing about his terrible crimes. And they may become the man’s partner in crime, for example, smuggling contraband into him.
