When former England football star Matt Jarvis made his international debut in front of 80,000 at Wembley, he thought he had it all.
But after a gruelling three-year injury battle, brutal online trolling and abuse after games, he found himself breaking down in tears. Now, speaking exclusively to The Mirror, he opens up about the “unspoken mental health epidemic” in football. And he says he can relate to how millionaires like Paul Pogba end up suffering depression – despite seemingly perfect lives – as the Manchester United star revealed last week.
Having battled “his own dark days” Matt estimates around a third of Premier League players would benefit from help with their mental health. The 35-year-old, said: “People assume as a footballer your life is wonderful, but it’s a misconception.
“We’re fortunate to do a job that’s the best hobby in the world but there are pressures and sacrifices that take their toll. You can feel trapped. I would work my socks off every single day. But people online would say, ‘What a waste of money, he’s always injured... Is he even still here?’
“It got to me, especially when I was injured. I was missing out on time with my son and wife, I’m giving it absolutely everything and people are talking like they know what your situation is but they haven’t got a clue.
“At one point, I was in pain every single day and couldn’t walk properly. I would go home sometimes really sad and so down. I would sit on the sofa and cry. I didn’t realise I was depressed at the time, but I do now. Although I was doing a job I loved it was some of the darkest days of my life.”
He is full of admiration for Pogba and feels Premier League clubs “need to do more to care for their players”. He said: “Paul talking out is incredibly brave and will hopefully help others to talk about their problems. Mental health issues is kind of football’s unspoken epidemic. If you’re looking at a 25-man squad, probably at least eight or nine have issues.”
Winger Matt played more than 400 games for clubs including Wolves, Norwich and West Ham. Success included promotion to the Premier League with Wolves in 2009. He said: “When football is good, it’s great. I was definitely happy then, it came home with me.”
Then when he got the England call-up in 2011 he felt as if “all of my dreams had come true”. But his single cap against Ghana brought new pressure from fellow pros and fans. “There was 80,000 at Wembley," he said. “I remember being so excited and when summoned to come on, I sprinted down the touchline like a kid. It was the perfect day.
“Coming back from England my manager at Wolves, Mick McCarthy, saying I had to raise my game as I was now 'England’s Matt Jarvis'. It was basically saying in a nice way that expectations had gone up and that there was now a sort of a target on my back. He was right.”
The following year, Matt joined West Ham for around £11million – a then club record fee, which upped the ante once more. He said: “Being a club’s most expensive player definitely added pressure. Paul Pogba has experienced that too. Every bad pass feels worse than it is. Every comment is nastier than it is.”
Online abuse became a wearying fact of life, but Matt also faced the fury of angry fans in person after games.
He said: “It does get serious, you start going on Twitter and getting messages, you read a few and think it’s really good. Then you read another one and you go, ‘Oh’. It sticks with you.
“People would talk about my England cap or the money I earned, ‘You’ve missed this shot’, ‘You’ve done this’, ‘You were spotted at a restaurant after you lost’ and ‘How can you be at a restaurant when you play so badly.” It led to him becoming something of a recluse. “You want to get yourself home where you know where everything is and you’re safe there.
“When you’re out and you’ve had a bad game and people are pointing and looking at you, you’re thinking this could go horribly wrong. I would sometimes dread leaving the stadium. You’re in the car and people are banging on your window... it can be a frightening place sometimes.”
Matt’s career took a turn for the worse in 2016. A series of debilitating injuries resulted in four operations in 30 months. He said: “The worst part of football is being injured. They always put you in the gym looking out on to the training pitch – you’re constantly reminded that you’re not able to play.
“I would go to training, come back, sit on my own, eat and go to bed, and do that over and over. There was support from physios but I was really struggling. My son Leo had just been born and I was living away from him six days a week. I was on my own, at this point I had moved three or four times and was in Norwich. All the time, people were asking ‘Where is Matt Jarvis?’ I was in a bad, dark place.”
Matt’s wife, Sarah, helped him cope by helping him open up. “My wife has been my saviour in the sense she talked about everything,” he said. “She would make me talk about things that were difficult and it really helped.”
Having retired last May, he lives with Sarah and their kids Leo, five, and Ella, two, just outside South West London in Cobham Surrey.
He is backing Headstrong, The Daily Mirror’s better mental health campaign, and hopes to shift the culture in football that left him and others reluctant to talk about problems for fear of being labelled “weak”.
He said: “I’m in a much better place now. I just hope me talking out about what I went through will help other players and people in ordinary life talk about their mental health issues.”
