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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Anjula Mutanda

Everything is foreplay … and being ‘good selfish’: how to have better sex with your partner

Couple embracing
Don’t try to recapture the old days – build intimacy on your shared experiences. Composite: Stocksy United/Guardian Labs

Sex, desire and libido are things that change and evolve over time for most adults, with those in long-term relationships especially liable to these ebbs and flows.

For some couples, a sex life which both partners find satisfying can be one of the first things to fall by the wayside when everyday stresses, distractions and routines start to take over. Here, Anjula Mutanda, a psychotherapist, relationship psychologist and president of relationship support charity Relate, advises how couples of all ages, genders and sexualities can stop life getting in the way of sex, and reconnect intimately.

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