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Newcastle Herald
Newcastle Herald
Health
Anita Beaumont

'Everyone was traumatised that day': Amputees Thalia and Niki Lee on learning to laugh again

THALIA Standley had just turned eight years old when she lost the lower part of her right arm in a vicious and brutal dog attack.

"I haven't really spoken about it," she said. "But it was a very traumatic situation.

"I was found by one of my oldest friends, and her dad ended up saving me."

Despite having the support of a big loving family, friends, and a very special occupational therapist called Nadia, the Valentine teenager still recalls feeling isolated and alone. She had often felt people staring, and it had made her uncomfortable.

"I felt very trapped for most of it, I didn't have anyone around me that had lost a limb," Miss Standley, now 15, said. "I think for about two-and-a-half months I felt like I was in a dream, or a movie.

"I couldn't face the reality that I'd just lost my arm."

Then she met Niki Lea Williams - a fellow amputee with a big laugh, a big smile and a big heart who became a mentor and friend.

Ms Williams lost her right leg in a car accident in 2002. She was 19.

"I was lucky to get out of the car... I was really lucky to get a second chance at life," the Argenton resident - who famously had her prosthetic leg signed by Lady Gaga - said.

"But even 20 years later, sometimes I still wake up and look down and think, 'I can't believe I lost my leg'."

Now, together with a group of other local amputees, they want to let others know they are not alone, that there is support, and that there is fun to be had.

The group has organised the Amputee Awareness Ball - the first of its kind in Australia to help raise money to support those struggling with the "loopholes" that can prevent quick, easy and affordable access to the prosthetics they need.

Bond: Thalia Standley, 15, lost part of her arm in a dog attack when she was eight. Getting to know fellow amputee Niki Lea Williams had been comforting when she was feeling alone. They are part of a group who have organised the 2022 Amputee Awareness Ball. Picture: Peter Lorimer

After two years of COVID-19 and restrictions, the ball - now endorsed by Amputees NSW - is back to full capacity in 2022. It will be held at NEX in Newcastle on Saturday, August 13.

"Not being 18 yet I can't actually go," Miss Standley laughed. "But losing a limb is a challenge. So many people don't realise just how much of a challenge it really is. People who have been through it stick together. I think that's why we have such a big community coming together to help with this ball."

Miss Standley, who had been right-handed, had to learn to do everything with her left hand. Her older brother Jacob had been the only other "lefty" in the family.

"This ball isn't just for amputees," she said. "Yes, it is more to recognise what amputees have been through, but it is also to recognise the people that maybe didn't lose a limb but were there when it happened.

"Because everyone was traumatised on that day. No one really recognises the people that have witnessed it. But they are still going through the trauma as well."

Her mother, Sally Standley, said being thrust into the world of amputees had been an uncertain, daunting, and traumatic experience.

"I'm not an amputee, but I know what it's like to go on a journey with an amputee," she said.

"There are so many people that go through so many other things that result in not living. The fact you have an opportunity to embrace your loved ones, for them to come back and live life and watch them fulfil things and do things, is definitely a blessing you are grateful for everyday.

"But there is lots of discussion in our home about the people who witness such a horrific incident too. The amputee physically heals, and tries to mentally and emotionally heal, but the people who don't end up with that physical trauma still hold other traumas with them."

They hoped the awareness ball would also help break down some of the stigma, and change people's perceptions of people with an amputation or limb difference.

"We're all the same - even though someone can look different. It doesn't matter our race, or what's happened in our life, we are the same," Ms Standley said.

Understanding: Thalia Standley and Niki Lea Williams bonded over a shared understanding of what it's like to lose a limb. They want to raise awareness and money to support others. Picture: Peter Lorimer

"I hate the word 'stigma' but I think that's what we are trying to break... To encourage people not to be scared to start a conversation. And we have all got a sense of humour," Ms Williams added.

They both said laughter had been the best medicine. Ms Standley said she'd had a lot of fun with her prosthesis one Halloween.

"I think it's probably a case of if you don't laugh you'll cry," Ms Williams said.

"I was cracking jokes two weeks after my accident with the wardsmen. My mum wasn't too happy about that at the time. But I'd lost all of my blood plus more in my accident... So I'm just thankful to give life a second go."

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