If you feel there are not enough people in your life making bizarre pronouncements on your character, might I suggest deciding to be childless. At the age of 34, and having felt for my entire adult life that I do not want to procreate, I have heard most of them, from the infuriatingly condescending – “don’t worry, you will one day!” – to the vaguely hostile – “so you don’t like children?”
My own family have mostly resigned themselves to the knowledge that I have self-selected to be the future strange uncle, who plays a vital role in my niece and nephew’s lives by recommending cool records during adolescence (can’t wait to force a teenager to listen to Metal Machine Music in full.) But a dizzying number of people ask me about my plans for children, from strangers to friends. Making my decision to be childless caused me no stress. But it does, for some reason, cause stress to others.
