Ukraine wins 2022 Eurovision song contest as UK finishes second in Turin
Ukraine has won the 66th Eurovision song contest, which was held on Saturday evening in Turin in Italy. Riding a tidal wave of support from the telephone-voting European public, Stefania by Kalush Orchestra finished first after strong showings by the United Kingdom, Spain and Sweden in the early voting.
“Please help Ukraine, Mariupol. Help Azovstal right now,” lead singer Oleh Psiuk shouted from the front of the stage after the band had performed. In a video address released before the event, Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskiy said he believed the Kalush Orchestra would win. “Europe, vote for Kalush Orchestra. Let’s support our fellow countrymen! Let’s support Ukraine!” he said.
Sam Ryder’s entry for the UK, Space Man, led at the halfway point, having won the jury vote from around Europe with 283 points. But after the points from the public vote were added, it finished second.
Before the event, Ryder had said he wasn’t concerned where he finished, saying: “This is something that celebrates inclusivity, expression, love, peace, joy, togetherness. And so to think about the scoreboard, for me, takes a bit of the shine and the magic out of the room entirely.”
Read more here:
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Thank you so much for joining me tonight, a real pleasure to bring the show to you – or at least the meta-commentary on the show anyway. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, stay safe and keep well. ❤️
My apologies, I cannot believe it, I missed the moment. My laptop nearly got hurled out the window. Ukraine has won. Kalush Orchestra are about to take the stage again.
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Incredible stuff, and just at the vital moment, my browser crashed! It was meant to be!
Ukraine have won Eurovision. The UK was second!
It is done! You love to see it!
Sweden gets 180 points. That is low. Sam Ryder needs 348 points now. I think it is an impossible ask but I don’t know how many are available. I need a sextant to work this out.
Spain can’t come close. Only the UK and Sweden can stop Ukraine winning. They won’t.
Around 520 is usually enough to win. Ukraine have over 600 points.
Here comes the Ukraine public vote – it moves them to the lead. It’s a landslide. They will surely win. They have over 600 points in total.
Greece isn’t popular enough to move up the table, the ballads have spoilt the vote. Five countries left to get votes.
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Eight countries left to get points. The stakes are high. Netherlands go into … oh actually they get 42 and it doesn’t move them.
Serbia take the lead. Switzerland get nothing. I agree with the public!
I can’t even do any jokes at the moment. It is too tense.
This is going to be a nail-biter. That big score for Moldova means there are a lot fewer points to go round than maybe expected at the top.
WHOOOOOOOSH! Moldova – or Moldovia as they were known at the semi-final – have rushed straight up into the current top three. Amazing. The fiddle. Cotton-Eyed Joe but about trains. The public loved it.
A bit sobering for The Rasmus there, who ended up with 38 points for Finland. I could do with something a bit sobering actually.
Germany – do they end up with zero? Oh, thank god, six points from the public vote. I mean I didn’t like it, but even so.
Italy is the last jury. They give Netherlands the 12 points. The UK is leading the scoreboard after the jury votes. The UK has 283, Sweden 258 and Spain 231. Ukraine are fourth with 192.
I was live blogging the luge for the Winter Olympics earlier this year and that was slower than the pace at which they whip through the juries on Eurovision.
I appreciate this live blog is for the whole of the world, so here are some other key updates. Australia, Netherlands, Italy, Portugal and Azerbaijan are all in the top ten at this point. It has been a poor night for Germany, Moldova, France and Finland.
You may recall that last year Amanda Holden graced the stage for the UK by declaring “Bon Soir. Goedenavond. That is good evening in French and Dutch although I’ve got absolutely no idea which is which” which definitely earned her nil points on social media. It is AJ Odudu representing the UK tonight, a little more gracefully, and looking absolutely sensational in an incredible red feathered dress. The UK’s douze points went to Sweden.
If I was a betting man – I am not – I would still put my money on Ukraine at this point. I think they will end up well placed enough that the public vote will carry them over the line. Austria have just opened some champagne live on air and given the 12 points to the UK though, so …
I genuinely cannot remember there being this much technical difficulty with getting the juries on to the show. Is that three so far we lost?
If you aren’t watching the show, I’m not being terribly helpful about what the scores are, but UK, Sweden, Spain, Ukraine and Greece are still in contention. My predictions all evening have been terrible, and I am drafting my letter of resignation to the Eurovision Song Contest Live Bloggers Union.
I did not expect to be 20 juries in and the UK to be top of the leaderboard. Print this out and save it for your children.
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The televote could massively move the scoreboard around, but at the moment I would hazard that this will go down to the wire. If Ukraine are placed in the top five, when their televote comes in, we will either know they have an unassailable lead or it will still be possible for the UK, Sweden, Spain or Greece to overhaul them. A nail-biter. I was not expecting that.
Let us not get ahead of ourselves, but …
If we won (if) we would need hosts. pic.twitter.com/nDUBuZNRNm
— Mitchell Stirling (@MitchellSt) May 14, 2022
Whatever happens from here this is a massive vindication of the change of approach from the BBC in selecting the song and also will silence a lot of those “Europe will never vote for the UK because of politics, we should pull out” voices.
The big question at the moment, is have they held back a lot of juries that voted for Ukraine, and will the public vote still be so in favour of Ukraine that it can overhaul the current front-runners? Quite enjoying the randomness of Greece not being able to vote for Cyprus though.
I’m essentially in shock at potentially having to write a “UK does well at Eurovision story” and even … no, I can’t type it.
TIX from Norway is giving their votes. He competed last year in giant wings. His TIX nickname comes from the fact that he has Tourette syndrome and so would display ticks. He made it part of his identity. RETURNING ARTIST KLAXON.
Oooooh technical difficulties with the Azerbaijan jury but then they gave the UK 12 points. Let the conspiracy theories begin!
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Spain, the UK, Sweden and Greece are setting the early pace in the voting.
If you recognise this lady from Ukraine, Kateryna Pavlenko, that is because she is the singer from Go_A who shocked the world last year by wearing the skin of Keith Harris’s Orville puppet in Rotterdam.
Go_A should have won last year – HAVE I BANGED ON ABOUT THIS ENOUGH YET? – but did you know they also did a brilliant cover version of Verka Serduchka’s legendary Dancing Lasha Tumbai, well worth three minutes of your time, not least for Kateryna’s absolutely deadpan dancing.
Does this count as a returning artist bingo? Why not.
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As I remind you, they had all the jury scores last night, so if you wanted to engineer an interesting race, you have all the data to hand.
I understand that when you get your 30 seconds you want to make the most, but I always feel like these Eurovision jury people have never watched the show. SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT ALREADY.
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The actual Mika …
As you will have been able to tell from my commentary – VOTE NETHERLANDS! VOTE SWEDEN! – I have remained scrupulously neutral tonight. My colleague Angela Giuffrida sends this picture backstage of the French press ensemble breaking their sacred vows of being impartial about Eurovision – VOTE NETHERLANDS! VOTE SWEDEN! – while France were on.
I am joking, of course, but this was the scene in the press room on Tuesday when Ukraine performed.
press room reaction to ukraine’s performance #eurovision pic.twitter.com/pOvWNBIEeg
— MICEAL O'KANE (@micealokane) May 10, 2022
While the actual Mika is doing his actual thing, let me remind you of how the voting works these days.
First off we go through the 40 juries who:
- Will announce the top few scores from their jury.
- Will milk their 30 seconds for all it is worth causing the show to over-run. Every damn time.
Usually the juries – he said cynically – are arranged in such a way as to make it appear like a tight contest until one song streaks away, although I suspect that is harder to engineer this year. Ewan Spence suggested to me that as long as Ukraine have picked up 30-40 points from the first five juries to report they will probably be nailed on from that point.
After the juries, from last place to first place, the scores from the public vote across all of Europe are added. The record points total is 758. 500 or thereabouts will usually do it.
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The actual Mika!
I am going to level with you that the main thing I remember from live blogging Eurovision last year is that once the juries started, it was an absolute blur. I’d barely typed “And in a huge shock Cyprus have given their 12 points to Greece” and we had moved on to another three juries. This is also why I have just ignored that desperately unfunny montage of old clips because, I mean, what is there to add? If you were watching, you saw how unfunny it was. If you weren’t watching and just relying on the live blog, I’ve done you a public service.
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Now I am old, but I am not quite old enough to get the nostalgia vibes for Gigliola Cinquetti. Here is what she looked like doing this Eurovision song back in 1964.
Bless Måneskin, they’ve really made the most of their chance, haven’t they? You have to respect it.
OH MY GOD THAT GREEN SCREEN SUIT DOES NOT LEAVE MUCH TO THE IMAGINATION. Worse than those Spain costumes!
Over 2,000 comments on this blog! Wow, thank you. Here are a few I just spotted summing up what you have thought of the evening:
- Theibiijo: Definitely about the songs this year, some really good ones in there, didn’t have any real duds. Voting will be interesting.
- AndyPandy21: I have a feeling Spain will pick up a lots of votes, that top five is going to be a great battle.
- GreenTwilek: It’s all a bit fast for me, and I can hardly keep up with the blog and the BTL-comments.
Oh, I hear you GreenTwilek. I also enjoyed this from EssoBlue:
I preferred it when the contestants sang songs in their own languages. Now it’s mostly in English, the contest is less interesting to me and I’ve stopped watching it.
But how do they know? *Twilight Zone music plays*
You will have to excuse me as I enjoy a slight breather while the voting goes on and the TV show is mostly recaps of what we have already seen.
UNEXPECTED ELVIS COVER VERSION IN THE BAGGING AREA
I wasn’t a big fan of Måneskin myself but Angela Giuffrida in Turin interviewed them the other day and they sounded lovely. You can read that here:
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Måneskin doing a George Michael at the 2012 Olympics closing ceremony here. “Yep, sure we’ll do it. We’ll play the new single nobody has heard, right?” “Oh, ok.”
That’s not strictly true, Måneskin are doing the live premier of Supermodel here, but it was actually released yesterday, so maybe 12 of you have heard it?
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Let me know in the comments who you are voting for. I – the Netherlands and Sweden – have to remain strictly impartial.
Ukraine expected to win Eurovision as Kalush Orchestra make Mariupol appeal on stage
Voting has opened in the Eurovision song contest, with the strong favourites Ukraine expected to triumph. They appeared twelfth in the running order of the show, and lead singer Oleh Psiuk shouted: “Please help Ukraine, Mariupol. Help Azovstal right now” from the front of the stage after the band performed.
In a video address released before the event, Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskiy said he believed the Kalush Orchestra would win. “Europe, vote for Kalush Orchestra. Let’s support our fellow countrymen! Let’s support Ukraine!” he said.
Their song, which mixes rap with elements of Ukrainian folk music, was originally written in honour of the group’s mothers. The group have subsequently rededicated it to all matriarchs in Ukraine, as lines such as “I’ll always find my way home, even if all roads are destroyed” found new resonance. The six men who make up the group had to receive special permits to leave Ukraine and travel to Italy during the war.
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Bingo point for jumping off the stage there! Also maybe I was a bit harsh on this, it is quite a singalong end to the main show I guess?
25. Estonia: Stefan – Hope
The draw has done us a bit of a disservice here as our final song of the night is a somewhat dull one if you ask me. Stefan has a bit of a cowboy-Elvis thing going on, and is such a big fan of the old spaghetti westerns that they filmed the promotional video for this in the same place they filmed A Fistful of Dollars back in the day, none of which disguises that this song has very little to commend it.
I have really enjoyed tonight though. A good few tracks that will make it onto my permanent Eurovision playlist.
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I am going to go out on a body-themed limb here and say I think this will be in the top five come the end of the night. It is a strong tune, memorable presentation, and will benefit from being fresh in the mind when the voting starts. It is a real art piece.
Have a Eurovision Bingo point for obsessive hand-washing. A bit later on she pleads: “God grant us health, since there’s no medical insurance for me”, which has been interpreted as a direct dig at Serbia’s healthcare. But there’s another bit of the song where she is just talking about having a lovely walk with her dog, so it is unclear just how political this actually is.
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No, your ears were not hallucinating, the song does start asking about Meghan Markle. They sing “Koja li je tajna zdrave kose Megan Markl?” which roughly translates to “What could be the secret of Meghan Markle’s healthy hair?”
This is like having Laurie Anderson doing Eurovision.
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24. Serbia: Konstrakta – In corpore sano
Now it is time for Konstrakta and her Call the Midwife ensemble representing Serbia. Her real name is Ana Đurić, she used to be an architect and she is a bit of a conceptual artist, as you are currently finding out. I absolutely love it.
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There’s no way you can do a song about a river as good as the one Bruce Springsteen did, so why even try?
23. Poland: Ochman – River
Ochman is related to one of the greatest opera singers in the history of Poland, and his song blends rock-pop with opera stylings and I absolutely loathed it.
Having said that, the spooky ghost wraith dancers that arrive are quite neat, but come on, how did this get through the semi-final? And then get drawn towards the close of the show?
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Give yourself a guitar solo Eurovision Bingo point for that shredding.
22. United Kingdom: Sam Ryder – Space Man
This is the UK’s best entry for years, without a doubt, although Ewan Spence at ESC Insight pointed out that the staging is a bit “busy” and detracts from the song a bit. I genuinely hope it does well, because Ryder has played a blinder in the media rounds this week as well.
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Sam Ryder is up next for the UK, and he had something to say about the magic of Eurovision when he was interviewed on Sky News earlier this week. He told viewers:
I used to watch it with my parents, my sisters and my granddad just like huddled around the TV. There was always a lot of music in my house. So of course, something like Eurovision was always going to be an opportunity for family to get together and watch it, and that kind of carried on as I got older as well, having parties with friends. I don’t know if you do the same? It’s odd, isn’t it? There’s like, a lot of other TV shows, like Line of Duty. I’m a massive fan, but I don’t have a Line of Duty party when it comes out. But Eurovision, there’s some magic about it that brings us all together.
I shouldn’t be too harsh on this because actually Sheldon Riley’s backstory is pretty moving – he told the Eurovision people being here was a dream come true, as “I wrote the song when I was 15. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s at a really young age, and I also grew up in a really reserved and religious family. I come from public housing, we had no money, and I was being told that there were so many things I couldn’t achieve.”
Australia. Cue the “How does Australia qualify, it’s not in Europe, if they win would they host?” questions but don’t worry this is not going to win. It is not bad, I like the steps set, but that costume apparently weighs a ton, was blooming awkward to get to the venue, and just looks ludicrous. I feel bad calling someone else ludicrous after Moldova and Norway have been on but here we are.
21. Australia: Sheldon Riley – Not the Same
There is a quote Sheldon Riley gave in advance saying: “I want to spread the message that you can be unapologetically yourself. A lot of us hide behind masks.” He’ll be furious when he finds out what the costume department have come up with.
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Mika is talking about food and drink. I’ve got Hula Hoops.
She is going to benefit from a load of votes from the kind of men who slide into people’s DMs asking for pics of feet, isn’t she?
Fans of 1970s Cliff Richard will recognise this staging as the cover of his Green Light album. I promise this is the most obscure reference of the night, honest. Click through. You won’t regret it.
20. Sweden: Cornelia Jakobs – Hold Me Closer
I really like this, it really builds, I love a bit of pulsating electronica in the background of an otherwise over-wrought ballad-y thing. I worry about whether she over-strains her vocals though?
Zdob și Zdub are returning performers by the way too, so give yourself a bingo tick!
This is guaranteed 12 points from the Romania jury by the way – and also from my mate and total train nerd Jonn Elledge – because it is actually about celebrating the post-pandemic reopening of a train route from Chișinău to Bucharest. Choo-choo!
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19. Moldova: Zdob și Zdub and Frații Advahov – Trenulețul
The first time I heard this I genuinely did an involuntary LOL when the fiddle started up. Glorious Eurovision nonsense this, made even funnier when in the first semi-final Laura Pausini announced that Moldovia had qualified.
In recent years as I mentioned there has been a slight tendency for some of the quirkier entries to get knocked out in the semi-final, leaving us with a blander Saturday night. I won’t ever listen to this again in my life but it has genuinely added to the joy of the night.
I’m so glad I have so far resisted the temptation to shout “I’ve been there!” into the live blog every time I recognise somewhere in Italy in these postcards by the way, like some kind of cliche of a Guardian writer who you (correctly) assume studied medieval Italian architecture as part of his useless humanities degree that never prepared him for work in the real world etc etc.
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I genuinely think that the only chance of Ukraine not winning would be if the whole of Europe ended up coalescing around the same outside second choice, and I think this Iceland entry is lovely, but one of several songs that is going to split the “I like haunting ballads sung by women” bloc vote, of which I am very much a part. Because we haven’t even seen Sweden yet, which is also in similar territory to the Netherlands, Portugal, Lithuania and Greece.
18. Iceland: Systur – Með hækkandi sól
Iceland’s talent-to-population ratio must be off the scale. Systur are three sisters – Sigga, Beta and Elín – and they make gently spooky Icelandic country music. What’s not to like? The song is about the hope of the sunrise after the long winters in Iceland.
Genuinely got no idea what this broken chairs motif is about. Send suggestions on a postcard to “Burning Eurovision Questions, Guardian HQ, Kings Cross, London.”
17. Greece: Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord – Die Together
I used to live in Greece where everybody around me seemed to take Eurovision very seriously, and you can usually rely on the country for an uptempo number. That is very much not the case this year. Amanda Georgiadi Tenfjord was born in Greece, grew up in Norway and was classmates with the superlative Sigrid, and this song is absolutely miserable as sin.
She’s training to be a doctor and the song is about a relationship break-up, but I’m not entirely sure “Die Together” is the kind of bedside manner you’d be looking for, is it?
Don’t let them fool you, other CDs and DVDs are available by the way.
My colleague Monika Cvorak has also been watching the evening, and here is her verdict so far:
What a selection! It is so great to see some classic Eurovision staples on the stage this year. I absolutely loved my favourites, Czech Republic, opening the show. I was a bit worried about Dominika’s vocals after the second semi-final but she seems to have pulled it off and the crowd loved it. A true EDM banger that takes me back to my high school days.
I have to admit Romania’s Llámame has grown on me and the chorus is stuck in my head. I adored the choreography and my friend and I wish we had the female dancers’ costumes for the Abba party we’re going to next week.
I had no idea The Rasmus were still making music and they are this year’s coolest entry, if you ask me. Finland came in sixth in 2021 with metal track Dark Channel by Blind Side, and I applaud them sticking to the rock/metal meets mainstream angle this year. Lordi is still one of my all-time Eurovision faves.
I can only attribute France’s ‘so-unlike-France’ entry to them deciding to do a 180-degree about-turn after finishing second last year with probably the most French song in the world. But I love Fulenn – it’s weird but still catchy, and the staging is so theatrical. Someone on YouTube called it a ‘Celtic forest rave’ and I don’t know if you could describe it better. Also extra points for singing in Breton.
I first heard Norway’s plea for a banana a couple of months ago and couldn’t wait to see it on the big stage. It’s this year’s WTF moment, but it’s also everything we know and love about Eurovision – outrageous, fun and makes no sense at all. Like Martin said: it’s not going to win, but it’s one of the night’s talking points. My Eurovision group chat was full of laughing emojis and question marks – and that’s kind of what you want from Eurovision, really.
Bring on the final nine!
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16. Belgium: Jérémie Makiese – Miss You
This is one of those Eurovision songs that feels nice enough, and contemporary pop enough, but ultimately not a banger. It feels like the kind of thing the UK has been repeatedly sending and getting nowhere with. And I don’t think it is going to do the trick for Belgium either.
I haven’t changed my mind. This is dull. And lying down while performing at Eurovision? Is that a thing?
15. Azerbaijan: Nadir Rustamli – Fade to Black
I found this so forgettable during the semi-final that I didn’t make any notes on it because I assumed it had ZERO chance of progressing, so that’s shown me right up, eh?
Monika Liu also delivered one of the greatest lines in the press pack stuff that goes with Eurovision this year. Explaining how she had matured as an artist she said: “Five years ago, I was writing a song about falafel.” That may have prospered at Eurovision more? I want to hear it!
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14. Lithuania: Monika Liu – Sentimentai
This is nice enough, and I’ve seen it described as “a dreamy, classy, slightly spooky disco-jazz number”. But with the dress like that and the sound of the song, Monika makes me think of a slightly under-powered Goldfrapp. She says that the second verse of the song is about a place in Lithuania called the Dunes of Nida, but I’m sure that was in Lord of the Rings, wasn’t it?
Ed Sheeran meets Eminem – oh, ok, I’ve got it.
13. Germany: Malik Harris – Rockstars
It is another “Big Five” song that I have left to be a mystery to me. We are just over halfway through the night. Is he actually going to try and play 1,057 different instruments here?
As they left they stage, Kalush Orchestra shouted “Help Mariupol, Help Azovstal right now!”
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WHISPERS: *This has quite a long outro doesn’t it?*
I am so pleased for Ihor Didenchuk though, who is giving it some on the flute (or whatever that actually is). He is also in Go_A who I genuinely think should have won Eurovision last year with their song Shum, and that also means you can tick off a Eurovision Bingo for a returning performer.
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I know this all carries a huge amount of emotional weight but if I am allowed a note of slight dissent: when he starts doing his dance moves I get extreme Goldie Looking Chain vibes.
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12. Ukraine: Kalush Orchestra – Stefania
I think it is genuinely difficult to judge this song on its musical merits this year. I think it is strong – last year Ukraine also had an entry that fused modern music with Ukrainian folk elements that did well – but I don’t think Stefania is genuinely the best song in this year’s contest. But it is going to win. It got an incredible reception in the hall during Tuesday’s semi-final.
I genuinely have had this Netherlands song on repeat all week. I think it is absolutely beautiful and really moving.
Apparently S10 is pronounced STEEN so I am just so grateful I didn’t go onto any pre-Eurovision podcasts happily talking about S-ten and making “three better than S Club 7” jokes with abandon.
11. Netherlands: S10 – De diepte
This is by far my favourite song tonight. Every year there is one track that I’m like “Oh, I would just listen to this on repeat normally” outside of Eurovision and this is it. Epic slow sad indie ballad. But the presentation makes me anxious. Has she done that jacket up properly? Even more than Spain it is giving me “You can’t go out dressed like that” potential wardrobe malfunction vibes.
A drop-dead beauty of a song though.
I can understand why this is tipped to do well, but I don’t think it is that special – either the song or the staging? But what do I know …
Don’t forget you can tweet me at @MartinBelam to tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about to my face.
I mean don’t actually do that, just send me nice pictures of your Eurovision party or something.
10. Spain: Chanel – SloMo
This is another “Big Five” song that I’ve left as a surprise to myself as a little Eurovision treat. I had seen the costumes though and blimey *fans self*
Oh and don’t forget, thanks to Mahmood, you can tick off a returning Eurovision performer on your bingo card for Italy just now.
I’m cross with them though, because I was using a picture from the rehearsals in that last block and they didn’t have the sequins and glitter costume on and now my ruse has been exposed. This is going to be top five easily isn’t it?
9. Italy: Mahmood & Blanco – Brividi
Mahmood came second in 2019. He told my colleague Angela Giuffrida in Turin that “It’s hard to compare this contest with the last one, although we’re very happy to be representing Italy on home soil. We’re really ready for it.”
I’m not, I haven’t listened to this one in advance, but it has proved immensely popular, and in a Ukraine-free year with a home crowd behind it, might have been in for a shot. The reaction of people singing along in the hall sounds incredible.
I’m making some hand gestures at home about this skit to be honest.
It is coming up to the ninth song and in the UK we raise a glass to Sir Terry Wogan, Eurovision legend at the BBC.
The UK entry Sam Ryder was interviewed on Sky News earlier this week and he refused to be drawn on his own hopes for where he might finish. He told Kay Burley on Thursday:
For me, getting this opportunity and Eurovision in general, there was no expectations. I was grateful and lucky enough to find my own little path of music. If I had expectations I probably wouldn’t have started on TikTok in the kitchen singing Britney Spears as high as I could. So I’m carrying that same energy into Eurovision. I get to sing in a room, and connect with people, and not think about where I come on a scoreboard. It’s for the love and the joy of singing. This is something that celebrates inclusivity, expression, love, peace, joy, togetherness. And so to think about the scoreboard, for me, takes a bit of the shine and the magic out of the room entirely.
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Rosa says the message of her song is “every difficulty is easier to overcome when you love yourself a bit more and take care of yourself” but I’m not sure how that applies to the difficulty of trying to live blog Eurovision fast enough that I don’t end up three songs behind. Being kinder to myself is not going to get me typing faster is it?
8. Armenia: Rosa Linn – Snap
An accidental bulk-buy of Post-It™ Notes or some kind of pandemic toilet roll stockpile are the inspiration for the staging here, which is some of the most impressive you will see tonight. But the song leaves me stone cold.
Should you give a wolf a banana? I’ll save you Googling it, yes, wolves have been recorded eating fruit in the wild. I tried to give my own domesticated wolf a banana earlier, but Willow just looked at me like I was an idiot. Sausage dogs can be like that.
7. Norway: Subwoolfer – Give That Wolf a Banana
Keith and Jim, the two singers, claim to come from the moon and that’s probably the least silly thing about this song which I adore. It has strong What The Fox Says vibes to it, and it is just everything I love about Eurovision encapsulated in three minutes.
It won’t win this year, and it probably wouldn’t win any other year, but come on, where else do you get stuff like this on your tellybox on a Saturday night?
Oh I like this A LOT but it sounds like it could be an entry by Azerbaijan from 2008. No bad thing in itself, but I would not have thought the French entry would sound like this.
6. France: Alvan and Ahez – Fulenn
Each year to make live blogging more dangerous I avoid watching or listening to the “big five” entries so you get my genuine surprise and first impression. But I also have to get them all typed out during the course of the song. And my first is WTF this is France?
And oh I was right:
Fun fact: this is the first #Eurovision EVER with no songs in French 😱
— Eurovision Song Contest (@Eurovision) May 14, 2022
Alright, I will concede that the bits where things are projected on stuff perks it up a bit, but this is definitely a “grin and bear it” three minutes of the show. Only 20 songs left for me to make terrible puns like this you will be pleased to know.
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5. Switzerland: Marius Bear – Boys Do Cry
Here is Marius Bear with Boys Do Cry. The Cure beg to differ. This might be a good time to put the kettle on because no amount of over-active hand-waving during this song can lift it out of the doldrums for me.
Wordsmith Richard Osman has just described them as “like a bat out of Helsinki” but the big question for me is, is he young enough to be getting his kit off like that on television?
4. Finland: The Rasmus – Jezebel
Starting like the clown from It with a balloon but also wearing Paddington Bear’s yellow mac away kit, it is The Rasmus, some two decades after their massive international hit In the Shadows.
This notably, is not as good as In the Shadows, but is quite a fun slab of gothy-emo-rock or whatever genre it is if you are doing Eurovision but with guitars and eye-liner.
Hopefully The Rasmus inevitably not winning this year is the final answer to all those people who say “Why doesn’t the UK just send established bands to Eurovision”.
Now I must confess I thought the staging was a little unambitious and self-absorbed, and I also saw someone on social media complain that “nobody needs synchronised Enya”. However Maro rather generously invited two of the people she defeated in Portugal’s national final – Diana Castro and Milhanas – to join her backing choir so they would still get to Turin. Awwwwww, bless.
3. Portugal: Maro – Saudade, saudade
This has grown on me. I thought she had a distractingly over-expressive face when delivering her performance in the semi-final, but it seemed to go down well in the room. “Saudade” is one of those untranslatable words, in Portuguese it means a feeling of sadness at missing something but also the joy of having something to miss. Presumably a bit like how Chelsea fans feel about cup finals right about now.
Photograph: Marco Bertorello/AFP/Getty Images
The chorus goes:
Hola, mi bebébé,
Llámame, llámame
I’m no Spanish expert but, they’ve surely put too many syllables in most of those words, haven’t they?
WRS is a play on the main man’s surname, which is Ursa or something, meaning bear. Those cut-outs in those women’s dresses are certainly nearly revealing their ursas, aren’t they?
2. Romania: WRS – Llámame
If you played this to me without giving me any details, I would have assumed this was a Spanish entry, the chorus is in Spanish, the beat is Spanish, the look and feel is Spanish. But they are from Romania.
This lot all met while studying at Leeds apparently, although I don’t think there is much chance of them knocking the Wedding Present or Sisters of Mercy off their perch as the city’s greatest musical exports in my book, but this has really grown on me.
1. Czech Republic: We Are Domi – Lights Off
And we are off. Now the studio version of this comes with lashings of autotune on her vocals. The live one, does not, and is IMHO all the better for it. Casper Hatlestad built that customised bowed guitar himself. Give yourself a ludicrous instrument on the bingo card.
Mika giving us our first Eurovision Bingo of the night – unnecessary use of the French language! No song is sung in French tonight, which is possibly, I believe, the very first time. The French entry is in Breton. I think they should have made all the French bits be Breton all evening as well.
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Three Ukrainian friends – Senia lives in Mexico, Natalia and Katarina in Malta – came to Turin to show support for their country’s “brilliant” song. “It will be no 1, without a doubt,” said Senia.
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The puns are already rolling in …
@MartinBelam Can we say Eurovision in Turin is SHROUDED in controversy?
— Jerry Slaff (@jslaff) May 14, 2022
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if they skipped the flag parade in the future nobody would be jamming switchboards demanding one, would they? A whole new level of additional faff.
We are about 1,057 songs into a medley of Laura’s songs now, but it all looks great.
So your presenters tonight are your actual Mika. Actual Mika. The other two are Laura Pausini and Alessandro Cattelan. Alessandro has presented the X-Factor in Italy, so insert your own “he is used to tuneless caterwauling” punchline there. Laura has previously been a judge/coach on The Voice.
All three of them, I should imagine, are rather more charismatic in real life than tonight’s script is going to allow them to be, but isn’t that always the way? The awkwardness is part of the Eurovision charm. Trying to write jokes to appeal to everybody in Europe can’t be easy. As this live blog will also demonstrate.
As someone who has covered opening and closing ceremonies for the Summer and Winter Olympics and Paralympics in the last 12 months, it is refreshing to see they’ve gone for Give Peace a Chance here rather than Imagine from the “John Lennon Songs for Opening Ceremonies Greatest Hits” CD, but I still yearn for someone to make the bolder choice of Instant Karma. Or that one about heroin where he just screams a lot.
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Are you ready? And I should warn you, if you were looking for beautiful aerial drone shots of wonderful Italian landmarks with massive gurning Eurovision stars CGI’d onto them, then boy do I have some good news for you about tonight’s show.
Although this year they’ve turned the idea of doing some aerial filming of landmarks in the host nation into a kind of mascot character – Leo the Drone. I see what they’ve done, but I am slightly concerned that this is going down an avenue to each host wanting some kind of “mascot” character in the future.
We are about 12 minutes away from the start of the 66th Eurovision song contest. Angela Giuffrida has just met Igor, who travelled from Paris to Turin without a ticket – the fool! With just minutes to go to the start, he is still apparently confident of finding one.
“It’s not the first time I’ve tried, and at two other Eurovision’s it worked,” he said. “Apart from football, there is really no other event that unites people, it’s extraordinary, it’s an opportunity for us to connect and come together.”
He likes the French entrant, a song written in the dialect of Brittany, because “it’s so dynamic”, but wants Ukraine to win. “Not only because of world events, it’s a really nice song.”
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Our Angela Giuffrida is in Turin tonight and dedicated Eurovision fans have of course travelled from far and wide to be there. Michael Duncan and his partner, Daniel Fey, came from London and have been enjoying the northern Italian city for a week in the build-up to the grand final. “This is our 20th Eurovision,” said Michael. “We’re hoping for a UK win and they might actually do it.”
If you would like to get your face in our Eurovision live blog, then you either need to bump into Angela in Turin, or tweet me with your pictures of Eurovision fun: @MartinBelam.
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If you are looking for songs that might push Ukraine close, then on streaming service Spotify Mahmood & Blanco’s Brividi has been a streaming monster, with over 82 million plays. Could Italy win two successive finals? Last year’s winners, Måneskin, told our Angela Giuffrida in Turin that winning it changed their lives:
It wasn’t so long ago that Måneskin were busking on the streets of Rome, performing for four hours straight even if only one person was watching. So the 2021 Eurovision song contest winners couldn’t believe their luck when the Rolling Stones invited them to open a concert in the US in November, giving them their first opportunity to perform in front of an audience of thousands.
“We thought, fuck yeah, we’re not going to decline that,” bassist Victoria De Angelis said in an interview with the Guardian alongside her three bandmates in Turin before the Eurovision 2022 final.
“Our lives have completely changed [since Eurovision]. We haven’t stopped. We’ve been having a lot of crazy experiences … all the things we dreamed of that we never thought would come true.”
For the most part, Eurovision winners tend to be swiftly forgotten about. But since their show-stopping performance of Zitti e Buoni in Rotterdam last May, Måneskin have not only achieved an unrivalled level of global success for an Italian rock band, they are inspiring a generation of young people with their upbeat rock and profound lyrics.
“We are super privileged, but when we started out in music we experienced some tough times. We were being super judged – for our makeup, nail polish and how we dressed – that it was hard to keep going,” said frontman Damiano David.
You can read more below:
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This maybe doesn’t make as much sense if you haven’t seen all the songs yet, but this exquisite Tumblr post sets out the ideal conditions to listen to each of this year’s 40 entries.
Sample content: “In a dirty basement with hot people”, “In 2003, with low slung jeans and a thick coating of Bad Gal eyeliner”, “Halfway down a pint of ice cream, under a duvet”.
The ideal conditions for listening to the songs of Eurovision 2022 from Ellie Made It
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Ahead of tonight’s show I spoke to Ewan Spence from ESC Insight, which is a website and podcast that follows Eurovision all year round, rather than johnny-come-latelies like me who just rock up at the final.
I asked him to explain one of the controversies which is going to unfold during tonight’s final – the “kinetic sun”. Here’s what Ewan told me:
So the Italians wanted to have an LED screen. Everybody does. There’s a big LED screen all along the back of the stage. Then there is a bundle of arches that are connected, that also have LED screens. Those arches also rotate so you can have, instead of the LEDs, a wall of lights.
So far so good, this sounds great. Except …
The problem is, for whatever reason, it rotates more slowly than expected. They thought it would be able to rotate within the length of a postcard, so one song could have the LED screen, the next song could have the wall of lights. But instead it’s been locked in one position. And it’s been locked in the position that is the wall of lights, not the LED screen. So the acts that are just wanting to have that effect of lights? They’re all good. They’re staging is fine. The ones that needed the LED screen? They now have this great big blank rainbow cutout in front of their video when you see them on screen, and it just looks bad.
Oh.
The UK is going into Eurovision this year with a little bit of optimism around Sam Ryder’s song. Rachel Aroesti spoke to him and the people behind the song:
Sam Ryder, has been gearing up for the final in Turin on Saturday – mainly by trying to avoid catching Covid or a cold. “You don’t want to be getting on that stage in front of 200 million people with a scratchy throat,” he says. But he isn’t getting carried away by the bookies’ odds. “We’re flattered, but it’s just a number, so let’s not get hyped,” he says, sporting his trademark grin.
If Space Man does succeed, it will be no fluke: this year, the UK’s strategy for picking a Eurovision entry underwent a much-needed overhaul. For most of the competition’s history, the UK candidate has been chosen via a televised competition, but in 2021 the BBC enlisted the help of record label BMG. The ensuing nul points disaster prompted Ben Mawson and Ed Millett of TaP Music – known for managing major pop stars such as Lana Del Rey, Ellie Goulding and Dua Lipa as well as indie darlings such as Caroline Polachek and Purity Ring – to get involved.
The pair believed the UK was wasting an opportunity to showcase a promising artist to a huge global audience. They were also convinced there were some easy fixes to the UK’s predicament. “The bottom line was: why, in the home of some of the most wonderful pop music in the world, are we doing so badly each year?” says Mawson.
San Marino is also another big loss from tonight’s show. Achille Lauro’s staging of Stripper absolutely killed it on Thursday, and I am a bit exasperated it didn’t progress. How many times do you get to see a lace-clad man on top of a studded leather red bucking bronco on your telly on a Saturday night, eh? Just look at it …
Go on. Treat yourself. Give it a blast.
Eurovision Bingo rules for tonight!
Get ready to mark your Eurovision Bingo cards! Of course, if you want to have a shot of drink each time you spot one of these things, you are welcome, but drinking is not compulsory. You can just shout “Hola, mi bebébé. Llámame, llámame!” instead, or whatever you fancy. You do you. Here is what I have got on my list:
- A costume change!
- Ludicrous musical instruments!
- A cynical key and/or tempo change!
- Someone says the evening/songs have been “wonderful”!
- Unnecessary use of the French language!
- Vigorous hand-washing!
- Costumes with cut-outs!
- Someone jumps off the stage!
- A guitar solo!
- Spooky ghost wraiths!
- Someone in the crowd is waving a Ukrainian flag!
- Someone is back performing at Eurovision again!
I’ll try and call them out. And also try not to get into complicated arguments about musicology as to whether something is technically a key change or not. We all know that cynical rising key change for the final set of choruses when you hear it.
The sheer number of entries these days means we have to have semi-finals, but that also sadly means that some acts who would have added a lot of joy to tonight’s event don’t make it through. I didn’t enjoy the song, but Georgia sent what I can only describe as a “Steampunk Kula Shaker” in the shape of Circus Mircus singing Lock Me In.
It was a bit of a psychedelic extravaganza, but the viewers decided to firmly lock them out of tonight’s final.
I have probably already given a few of the answers away in my preamble, but if you have a couple of minutes to spare, as we wait for things to get in the swing in Turin, why not have a stab at our Eurovision quiz from yesterday?
If you don’t know, unbelievable as it seems, but Mika is one of the presenters on tonight’s show. Yes, the actual Mika. He has already been tweeting from behind the scenes tonight.
Look who I bumped into backstage! A true legend of @eurovision! So good to see you again @grahnort #eurovision pic.twitter.com/H30jtaYYbs
— MIKA (@mikasounds) May 14, 2022
Angelica Frey had a look for us earlier in the week at the entries to keep an eye out for, and what might be the favourites. But there were some shocks in the semi-final, and some have already fallen by the wayside. You can catch up with her rundown here: Sexy vegetables, banana-eating wolves and Meghan Markle’s hair – who to watch at Eurovision 2022
Here is your running order for tonight, which the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) have handily put on a social media graphic so that I don’t have to type it all out.
I remember last year promising to join in the comments, and then it all goes by so fast that it is impossible for me. So if you want to get in touch with me – particularly with photos of your Eurovision party this evening – then tweeting me @MartinBelam is your best bet. I will have a Tweetdeck column open and so will (probably) see it. I’ve already got some Eurovision Bingo suggestions set up, but I welcome any additional ideas.
Welcome to our live coverage of the 2022 Eurovision song contest
доброго вечора з лондона! That’s Ukrainian for “Good evening from London!”, and I’m glad you can join me for our live coverage of the 66th edition of the Eurovision song contest.
I’ve got to start by being totally honest with you. There is a good chance we are about to sit through four hours of the greatest and glitteriest musical extravaganza on the planet, merely to find out exactly how much Kalush Orchestra from Ukraine are going to win it by with their song Stefania.
Has the song been popular with Eurovision fans in the build-up? Yes. Will Ukraine winning be seen as a gesture of solidarity for their nation across much of Europe? Yes. Is it actually the best song we’ll see tonight? Well …
Everything gets started at 9pm in Turin, which is 8pm in the UK, and about 90 minutes away. If you are joining us from Australia I am keen to hear in the comments whether you have decided to set your alarm for silly o’clock in the morning to get up and watch it, or whether you have gone on an all-night Eurovision rampage.
Even if the result seems like it might be obvious, there is a lot of entertainment to be had. We’ve got 25 songs ahead of us. The UK’s entry is tipped not to do terribly for a change, and Norway and Moldova have sent the kind of Eurovision entries that you will be seeing on clip-shows for years to come. If you like moody downtempo songs of misery sung by women, there’s a bumper crop. Some of the staging, as ever, is spectacular, and there’s one song that starts by asking “What could be the secret of Meghan Markle‘s healthy hair?”
So come and join me. We will of course be playing Eurovision Bingo – drinking is optional – and the comments on this live blog are always lively and fun. I am really looking forward to it.
