A new member being born into the family is exciting for everyone. Whether you’re a big sister, grandfather, aunt or cousin to the new baby, you will likely be thrilled to welcome them into the world and spoil them at every opportunity you get. But it’s completely up to the parents when you’ll be allowed to meet their little one.
One mother posted on Reddit detailing the frustrations she experienced after being told that she wasn’t allowed to visit her daughter for the birth of her grandchild. But many readers understood exactly why she wasn’t given a warm welcome. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
Welcoming a new family member into the world is extremely exciting for grandparents
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But when this woman was told that she wouldn’t be allowed to attend her grandbaby’s birth, she was heartbroken and confused
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Many new parents choose to keep visitors to a minimum for the first few weeks of their child’s life
For many moms and dads out there, the day that they became a parent was one of the best days of their life. After waiting about 9 months (or sometimes even years!), they finally got the chance to hold their beloved little one in their arms. And for a moment, all of the stress and physical pain didn’t matter. Everything became about loving that precious little child.
But it’s only a matter of time before everyone in your life will be begging to see your baby, which can quickly become overwhelming. And while some parents might not mind having their own parents waiting in hospital or babysitting their older siblings during the birth, others might prefer to enjoy some special one-on-one time with the newest member of the family for several weeks.
According to a piece from Next Avenue, many parents feel more comfortable having as few people around as possible after the birth to give themselves time to adjust to parenthood and their new lives. Plus, if they have a rocky relationship with their parents or in-laws, tensions are likely to build even faster when hormones, lack of sleep and overwhelming emotions are at play. And the reality is that it’s safter to limit how many visitors your little one has for their first few months anyway.
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Infants have very fragile immune systems and shouldn’t be in contact with too many people
Johns Hopkins Medicine notes on their site that it’s wise to make extended family and friends wait two or three months before visiting your little one, as their immune system will be incredibly weak in their first few weeks. Germs that wouldn’t affect us adults at all might take a much larger toll on an infant, so it’s best to limit their risk of developing infections.
It’s crucial for anyone who is in contact with a newborn to wash their hands first, and it’s recommended to remove any jewelry from the hands as well. As tempting as it may be to kiss the newborn’s cute noggin, visitors should refrain from getting their faces too close to the little one, as our mouths have many germs.
Wearing a mask around a newborn is never a bad idea. And if you’ve had any signs of illness or been around anyone who was ill recently, wait a few weeks before visiting the newest member of the family.
But even when it is safe to visit, or parents have decided that their own parents will be welcomed into their home, it’s important for them to respect boundaries set by the new parents and to try not to step on anyone’s toes. For example, the new mother and father might not have been able to keep their home clean and tidy through all of the chaos of bringing home a baby. But the last thing they need is judgment for having some dishes in the sink.
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When grandparents are invited to visit, they should focus on being helpful and respecting the new parents’ boundaries
As far as what grandparents should do to be helpful when meeting their new grandbaby for the first time, Parents.com notes that they should keep an eye on the parents’ needs. Getting them groceries, cooking meals, bringing them drinks or snacks and helping to tidy up their home can go a long way when Mom and Dad barely have a moment to think.
It’s also best to ask the parents when exactly you’re allowed to visit, how long you can stay and what they need from you. Try to focus on them, rather than the baby, as they’re the ones who need assistance in the moment. Plus, if you make them feel seen, heard and taken care of, they’ll be much more likely to want to bring your grandchildren around in the future.
More Than Grand also recommends making sure you have your own place to stay during this time, so you’re not encroaching on the new parents or making them feel like they have to host and entertain on top of taking care of their infant.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this grandmother got a reality check that she needed, or was her daughter being too harsh? Feel free to share, and then if you’d like to read another Bored Panda piece discussing similar themes, look no further than right here.
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Many readers took the daughter’s side and explained to her mother exactly why she’s in this situation
However, some were more sympathetic towards the grandmother
