Pep Guardiola had a simple request at the start of his post-match press conference. “Talk about John Stones, please” he begged, referencing the scorer of Manchester City’s spectacular first goal, as opposed to the scorer of their extraordinary second.
If it feels like we are all running out of new things to say about Erling Haaland, at least he is finding new ways of demonstrating his generational abilities.
The 13th goal of a City career that is still just nine games old was the best of all so far, not only for the circumstances in which it arrived – late on, against his former club, to secure a victory that the performance had barely deserved – but for the manner of it.
Joao Cancelo’s deep, searching cross – played with the outside of his boot – looked like it may have been too deep and searching for even Haaland to connect with, until the Norwegian contorted his body like a kung-fu kick, in such a way as to rise his long left leg above his head but still manipulate the finish past the helpless goalkeeper.
Haaland hangs in midair as if the rest of his teammates are holding him up, with all his substantial heft and weight, or as though they have shifted him into position like a sort of medieval siege weapon. It becomes all the more impressive when you remember he gets up there all by himself.
Guardiola only saw a replay of the goal while conducting his round of post-match flash interviews. Once he had seen it up close, he drew a comparison to a similar one scored by his idol, mentor and inspiration Johan Cruyff for Barcelona against Atletico Madrid in 1973.
Known as “El Gol Imposible”, it is one of the most iconic in Barcelona’s history, so iconic, in fact, that back in July, as part of Joan Laporta’s rush to cover this summer’s extravagant spending, it had the honour of being the first piece of the club’s 122-year history to be auctioned off as a non-fungible token.
Guardiola dropped another name too. “I remember my dear friend [Zlatan] Ibrahimovic had this ability to put his leg on the roof. Erling is quite similar in that,” he said. “I think it is his nature. He is elastic, he is flexible and after that he has the ability to make the contact and put the ball in the net. I think his mum and dad give him that flexibility.”
While the likeness with Ibrahimovic is clear, Cruyff is not the most natural of comparisons for Haaland.
A footballing ideologue whose philosophy has influenced the leading tactician of this generation, it is hard to imagine the City striker doing the same when his playing career eventually ends sometime in the mid-to-late 2030s, at which point the rest of European football will get some much-needed respite.
It’s not that Haaland wouldn’t be capable of a successful coaching career. It’s just that, right now, it is difficult to imagine him doing anything other than scoring goals.
Even when he isn’t. During his 84-minute wait to write his name on the scoresheet for the sixth straight game, Haaland did not particularly look like scoring. There was one shot from an acute angle into the side netting but other than that, no glaring misses, no dangerous runs in behind, not even a shot on target. Even so, a certain sense of inevitability persisted and was picked up on by the crowd.
One of his former teammates felt it too. “Yeah, I knew it [would be him], to be honest,” Jude Bellingham, the scorer of Borussia Dortmund’s goal, admitted. “Not many people know how to stop him. We did a really good job until maybe 88 minutes tonight and then he did what he does, unfortunately for us.”
Bellingham was arguably the best player on the pitch at the Etihad, not only the instigator of all Dortmund’s most dangerous counterattacks but a calming, controlling presence in midfield on a night when the Bundesliga side deserved more than they got.
He was caught on camera chatting with Haaland after the final whistle. Lip-readers will struggle to decipher the bulk of what was said but should have no problem working out Bellingham’s final words as they broke off the conversation: an exasperated “f***’s sake”, through a knowing smile.
Perhaps, only six weeks into Haaland’s spell in Manchester, halfway through the September of his first season, that is already all there is to say.
