Here's your dossier, Erik - assume the position and pour yourself a stiff drink. Better make it a large one.
Interim manager Ralf Rangnick will hand new Manchester United boss Erik ten Hag a detailed file on the under-achieving rabble he will inherit this summer. In essence, it will hand the hard-line Dutchman a licence to dismantle a decaying empire because, on the evidence of a needless defeat at the Emirates, Ten Hag is taking over a squad with more dead wood than a lumberjack's back yard.
If anyone at Old Trafford still believes Champions League football next season is possible after a slovenly feast in north London, they will be the people who stake out Father Christmas every year. This is not Rangnick's mess, but his spell holding the fort at United has been a dead loss. He has had the authority of a station platform announcer when the trains are cancelled.
