Alarm screeches. Hit snooze button to optimise sleep recovery. Yawn to improve airflow. Chemically adjust mood with double shot of caffeine. Brush teeth with whitening toothpaste. Apply deodorant to improve social acceptability.
Smear moisturiser on bald head in overly optimistic attempt to slow visible signs of decay. Shave unsightly white whiskers. Gulp water to maintain hydration levels. Don "slim fit" T-shirt in vain bid to display upper body anatomy in admirable proportions.
Feel rather ... enhanced. Improved. Ready to confront a judgmental world. Then turn on the news. Sneering commentators in heavy make-up and carefully-styled hair are rolling their eyes.
