Lioness Demi Stokes holds her baby Harlen tight, relieved that her “miracle” son is safe and healthy after a dramatic premature birth.
The tot’s surprise arrival filled the England champ with terror – not only because he was six weeks early, but also because of her own history of being born severely premature.
Defender Demi, 30, became the first mum in her Manchester City team when her fiancée Katie Harrington gave birth to their son in May, just two months before the Euros. But her joy was tinged with fear because Harlen weighed only 5lbs and had to stay in hospital on an incubator.
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Demi herself was born 10 weeks before her due date, weighing only 3lbs. Just days after being allowed home she was rushed back to hospital for emergency bowel surgery – and still carries the scars from it today.
The player describes Harlen coming so early as traumatic for her.
Demi says: “Katie went to the hospital with really high blood pressure and severe preeclampsia. It went from zero to 100 very quickly.
“We were surrounded by midwives, doctors and nurses. We couldn’t have that first hug with him because he had to go in an incubator.
“Now we make sure he gets so many hugs and feels loved and knows his mums are there.”
Demi praises the 'amazing' support she and Katie received at Tameside Hospital in Greater Manchester.
But it was a different story for her own mother.
Demi says: “I was severely premature and then wasn’t allowed home until I hit 4lb.
"When I got home, I was rushed back into hospital within two days to get an operation because I had a blockage in my bowels. That was my experience of coming into the world.”
Demi was the middle child of five in a single parent household after her mum fled a difficult relationship.
Her two younger brothers were also born severely prematurely, weighing 2lbs and 3lbs. Knowing what problems it might cause, Demi was anxious her own son might come early.
She says: “I did worry about having a premature baby. But when we realised Katie was having Harlen a lot sooner I had to stay calm and put a poker face on.”
Harlen, now six months old, is a “brilliant” baby, she says, adding: “He’s rolling around and trying to put everything in his mouth. He was so small, quite diddy, but he is doing fine now.”
She and NHS worker Katie, 32, spent two years trying to conceive through “up and down” IVF.
Demi says: “He is our little miracle. We consider ourselves very lucky. A lot of people can’t afford IVF or don’t have access to a donor. We pinch ourselves because there are families who go through 10 years of trying. We kept going and kept grounded.”
The proud mum, who comes from Dudley in the West Midlands and now lives in Manchester, returned this week to Birmingham Children’s Hospital, where she had surgery as a baby, to thank staff.
The world-class athlete has never had an official diagnosis of how her premature birth affected her health.
But she has always suffered bowel issues and admits she struggled at school.
However, she insists being premature doesn’t have to hold children back.
She adds: “When you’re small you just have to work that little bit harder, find new ways to learn new skills. That’s something you can add to the toolbox when you become an adult because it shows you can survive and cope with different things being thrown at you.”
She often takes Harlen to meet her teammates – and Katie took him, aged two months, to Wembley when the Lionesses defeated Germany in the Euros final.
But Demi confesses that competing in July was incredibly hard.
She says: “It’s the toughest thing I’ve ever done because Harlen was very small and Katie was at home alone. Some days she’d ring me crying, but physically I couldn’t do anything.”
Thankfully her fellow Lionesses – Demi calls them Harlen’s “aunties” – gave her support and advice. Demi jokes: “Harlen is going to be very confused when he is older, because he’s going to have a lot of aunties! But he is very lucky to have all these strong and proud females around him.”
She also hopes her experience as Man City first team’s inaugural mum will inspire younger players to believe “they can do anything and be anything they want to be”.
She adds: “It’s very hard for women to do both – work and be mums – even now. But we have to keep pushing the boundaries.”
This is one reason she is backing a Pampers campaign to improve services for women with premature kids.
Demi adds: “I think I have been a good role model for other premature babies or parents of premature babies to show that you have got a fighting chance even if you are small. “You do have disadvantages coming into the world but you are no different from anyone else.”
■ Demi is working with Pampers and Bliss to raise awareness on World Prematurity Day. If you have been affected by prematurity or want to learn more, visit bliss.org.uk
