Former England spinner Shaun Udal has opened up about his battle with Parkinson's disease, having been diagnosed with the incurable condition back in 2019.
Udal made a total of 15 England appearances across all formats and received the devastating news through the post. Parkinson's is caused by a loss of nerve cells in the brain and one of the most common symptoms is involuntary shaking, meaning Udal finds himself unable to hold a cricket ball anymore.
And the 54-year-old has bravely opened up about experiencing "some dark thoughts along the way", revealing he sought counselling following the tragic deaths of his Mum, younger brother and close friend Shane Warne. "Mum went a couple of years ago and we couldn't say goodbye because of Covid and then I lost my brother unexpectedly," he told the Mail+.
"Then when Shane went…I still can't believe it. I've still got his number on my phone and I look at it sometimes and think 'come on mate ring me.' But it's not going to happen. I know everyone has their problems but to go through three or four major things in a short space of time has been very tough.
"Parkinson's can be stress related and when you're stressed that's when the shakes become worse and the muscles hurt. The less stress the better and I have to keep active for my own sanity as much as anything. Yes, there have been some dark thoughts along the way.
"Thankfully they're not there now because I had counselling which the PCA and Sporting Chance arranged for me and I saw a person for 12 weeks which helped me off-load. "
And while Udal says he is in a much better place mentally, he admits it is "hard to do when there's no cure at the end of the line".
"I'm not struggling to cope," he added. "I'm just trying to have more good times than bad ones. That's why something like a pub or a cricket club are important because you can forget about your troubles for a bit.
"It doesn't have to be over a beer but as long as you're in the company of people who don't talk about your problems for a while it helps. I've got a lot of great family and friends around me and it's not all doom and gloom.
"It's not very nice, sure, but what can I do? I try to keep a positive mind-set but at times it's hard to do when there's no cure at the end of the line. I'll just keep going."
