Ellen Keane told how she wanted the ground to “swallow her up” when she was told to be more “sexy and flirty” on Dancing With The Stars.
The swimming champ will dance the samba to Under The Sea for Movie Week tonight and told how, with her disability, some of the old “insecurities” are creeping in.
The Paralympic gold medallist told the Irish Sunday Mirror: “During the cha cha, I learnt all the steps and Stephen my partner said I had to be
sexy, flirty and more charismatic.
“Stephen is a married man and he’s straight, I have this man doing all these moves and me trying to be sexy.
“Stephen’s wife Kylie has been helping, she tells me to move closer, but the first time I had to be all sexy I felt so cringe.
“He’d be doing the female moves and being all curvy and I was like I wanted the ground to swallow me.”
Dubliner Ellen, 26, said boyfriend Gavin Maguire, an international table tennis star and coach, has supported her every weekend as she bids for Glitterball glory.
She added: “He thinks the sexy moves are gas, he’s telling me to go for it saying the more confident I can become the better.”
She revealed that nasty comments on social media accusing her of being over-confident left her feeling hurt.
She said: “I nearly felt like a little kid, it’s nearly like a bad thing to be a confident girl.
“There seems to be a confusion between the definition of confidence and cockiness. If you’re a confident woman you’re seen as cocky and I’m by no means cocky at the dancing, I’m just trying my best.
“It upset me, that’s how it was coming across. I also realise I’m representing people with disabilities and I don’t want it to be unrealistic.
“People with disabilities struggle with their confidence as do young girls.
“I didn’t want it to be like I’ve cracked the code and this is it, I wanted it to be as honest as possible.
“I have struggled more so with my upper half when it comes to the dancing.
“Other people can compare their dancing easily to people with two arms, whereas I’m trying to figure out how do I move my upper arm, make it look graceful and not make it look awkward.
“It’s not my left arm that I feel sometimes looks awkward, it’s my right arm because there’s so much of it.
“I’m like where do I put it, where does it go?”
Tonight Ellen is hopeful she can nail the samba.
She said: “It’s a great dance to do as it’s high energy, I grew up dreaming I wanted to be Aerial [from The Little Mermaid], of course I love swimming.
“It’s not that I get nervous but it’s something new and it’s trying to get into character every week.
“Because I’m fit and my body is strong I thought this would be so much easier. Physically it is tough.
“Swimming is great, it’s now like my meditation, I get away from the dancing and visualise what the steps are.
“You need to be charismatic in dancing and put on a show. I never had to worry about that before.”
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