Elle Macpherson secretly battled alcoholism after becoming a mother as she struggled to maintain her "perfect" life.
The 60-year-old supermodel has opened up about her tough times in her new book 'Elle: Life, Lessons, and Learning to Trust Yourself' revealing she found herself in a "horrible downward spiral" after welcoming sons Flynn and Cy with her ex-partner Arpad Busson - confessing she would suffer from blackouts but was determined to keep up appearances.
In her book, Elle explained her drinking started when Flynn was a baby as he was often ill. She wrote: "In the evenings, after I put him to bed, I’d find myself relaxing with a vodka."
The catwalk star revealed her battle with booze caused her to miss her cue during her appearance in her closing ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympic Games because she became disorientated after downing champagne and vodka to calm her nerves - and her husband considered sending her to rehab but he was worried about her being away from him.
Elle went on to reveal things got worse after the couple welcomed their second son Cy. She wrote: "I loved spending time with Arki [Arpad] and … I wanted to prove to him I would be his partner in fun and business while being the mother of his sons. I would go out and drink, party and become sick again. It became a constant repeat: I was in a horrible downward spiral ...
"I found myself having blackouts … I would be talking to somebody and then I would forget what I was saying. They would look at my quizzically as if waiting for me to continue."
She went on to reveal she was determined to keep her problems secret because she wanted to project the image of a happy home life.
Elle wrote: "Often I would drink after I put my children to bed. I would sit down by myself and have shots of vodka and then I’d write to-do lists and letters to my family. I would do the housework, listen to music until around 11 p.m., then go to bed and pass out.
"I would get up in the morning, run six miles and have a coffee for breakfast. I would sick my fingers down my throat and make sure I vomited three times before I went to sleep. It was always three times ...
"People would tell me I was so organised. I was really proud of that. I guess I had to be organised because I was drinking and I never wanted anyone to know. So I made sure the house was clean and tidy; I made sure I looked great and I made sure the children were perfect."
Elle eventually went to rehab and was able to break free of her booze addiction, however, her marriage to Arpad didn't last and they split in 2005.
