Humans are wired to find meaning in even the most random things, which is why we hold onto old letters, clothes, and objects. Sometimes, these items are also connected to special memories and are then handed down from generation to generation. That’s why it can be tough to part with such meaningful things, even if others don’t understand it.
This is the dilemma a man was faced with when his husband chopped down a tree that his entire family had loved for decades. Though it was ‘just’ a tree, it symbolized so much more.
More info: Reddit
Even though it’s sometimes hard to apologize for your mistakes, If one partner does something wrong, they should take ownership out of love and respect for their significant other
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that when his grandparents built their house, they planted a tree in their yard, and since then, it grew alongside their family and became a part of their memories
Image credits: wirestock / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When his grandparents passed away, they left him their house, so his husband, who loved renovations, decided to do an entire makeover of the place
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The problem happened when the poster returned home from his work trip to find his grandparents’ tree chopped down as part of his husband’s renovation project
Image credits: throwawayyyy_81901
The man was heartbroken over losing something so precious, but his husband didn’t empathize and kept insisting he wasn’t wrong to have cut down the tree while renovating the house
One of the biggest things in this story that probably all of us can relate to is feeling sentimental about something from our past. The 35-year-old had always known his grandparents’ tree, and his family members had taken pictures by it, played under it, and grown up alongside it. So, it’s no wonder why he was shellshocked when he came back from his trip to find it gone.
He and his husband had never encountered big problems in their marriage, so it was shocking to suddenly be faced with a situation like this. He even told netizens that his spouse had started renovation work on the rest of the house and had not touched the yard at all, which is why it was so surprising to suddenly see the tree gone.
The husband could have easily apologized to his partner for getting rid of something that meant so much to him. The problem is that he doubled down on his actions and tried to invalidate the other man’s feelings, which created a rift in their relationship.
Psychologists say that when you undermine someone’s emotions like this, you might make them feel like you don’t understand them or just don’t care. This can hurt the other person, who is probably only trying to express their feelings. The poster especially just wanted his spouse to understand why the tree meant so much to him, but clearly, that’s not what happened.
Image credits: Racool_studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The couple’s argument eventually reached a standstill. The poster felt resentful of his partner for chopping down the family tree, while the other man didn’t see any problem with his actions and considered it to be a normal part of the renovation work. Neither of them wanted to concede or forgive the other person.
A big thing to understand from this is that resentment towards your partner can lead to a whole host of unresolved issues. If people don’t openly share their feelings with the other person, it can just fester and then cause problems later on.
Netizens wondered if the husband even knew about the tree’s significance to his partner before he cut it down. Other people came up with a bunch of sinister theories about the man’s motives for getting rid of something so special.
Unfortunately, it’s tough to truly know how to handle complex situations like this, but the most important thing is to be honest with your partner about how it affects you. Actions like this can’t be undone, but they can be made better.
What do you think the author should have done about his husband’s big mistake?
Most people were angry on the poster’s behalf and said that if they were in the same situation, they’d not be able to forgive their partner
