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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Barney Ronay

Do people actually hate Arsenal? Yes, they do. The real question is: why?

A cartoon hamster screams while breaking an Arsenal crest
We shouldn’t put angry hamsters in a box, even when we are literally putting angry hamsters in a box. Illustration: Matthew Green

There was a minor stir a few years back when some American scientists bred a strain of “gene-edited” hamsters with the chemical that causes anger removed, presumably so they could achieve one of humanity’s historic goals: the dream of a more docile hamster.

Unfortunately the opposite happened. What the scientists created was a race of hyper-angry hamsters. These were described a little glibly in the media as Mutant Rage Monsters. But science is always more nuanced than this. We shouldn’t put angry hamsters in a box, even when we are literally putting angry hamsters in a box. Longer studies have shown more varied results. Sarcastic hamsters. Hamsters that hold grudges. Hamsters that retreat into silence on long car journeys. Even a subset of passive-aggressive hamsters who are, seriously, just fine with this. It’s pretty much what they expected from you, anyway.

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