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Daily Mirror
Daily Mirror
Adam Wareing & Courtney Pochin

DIYers left in hysterics over 'rude' names for paint colours being sold in B&Q

A B&Q customer has shared how he was left surprised by the names of paint being sold in B&Q.

Mike Rampton headed down to his local branch of the DIY store in Cambridge on March 5 to get some paint for his daughter's bedroom.

He was browsing the range by Valspar, when he noticed some of the names of colours seemed to be rather 'rude innuendos' for anuses.

These included names such as 'deep channel', 'deep in the abyss' and 'passageway'.

The 38-year-old was left cracking up over the sample colours and shared a snap of it on Twitter, where his post quickly went viral.

The dad was shopping in B&Q (Kennedy News/Google Maps)

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His tweet read: "If anyone ever needs a nickname for their anus, I recommend the Valspar sample shelf at B&Q."

So far his post has been liked more than 20,000 times with users claiming Valspar's creative department could be trying to sneak the innuendos into their projects without customers noticing.

Mike thought his 'silly' finds, which also included 'peaceful place' and 'eye of horace', were hilarious - despite his partner Kirsten Rampton, 37, looking on disapprovingly.

Others on Valspar's website include 'porthole view' (blue), 'cool box' (pale blue), 'far and wide' (torquiose), and 'oh la la' (pink).

The paint names (Kennedy News and Media)
Mike thought they were rather 'rude' (Kennedy News/Twitter)

One Twitter user replied to his post saying 'I've got a selection here too' before sharing samples of 'gateway arch', 'plump raisin' and 'settling in'.

Another shared a colour called 'I feel you', then gave social media users a look at images of his 'rudely named' shades of orange 'ripe peach', 'mi casa', and 'carnelian charm'.

A third wrote: "These have to be Photoshopped, right? Otherwise it means there were creative meetings to come up with these names."

Someone else posted: "'Bachelor's button' is pretty bad too. Someone has been having a giggle at the Valspar offices."

A different user agreed, adding: "Someone, somewhere in the bowels of a paint company is going 'bugger, I've been rumbled'."

While a sixth praised Valspar, commenting: "LOVE Valspar colour names. What a class job that is. 'Chateau Rothschild' is going up in our spare guest room."

Mike explained: "I saw 'bachelor's button' and immediately thought that could be a silly name someone could call their bottom. It made me laugh so much.

"I was admiring the many hundreds, if not thousands, of colours they had on offer, and a few of them really made me laugh.

"They're as wholesome or as rude as you'd like them to be. I brought out my childish humour, but I'm glad the one we picked wasn't one of those.

"To come up with thousands of names, you're obviously going to paint yourself into some corners and wear out a few thesauruses and they go off-piste a little bit. Fair play to them."

The dad continued: "I think it's difficult not to go a bit doolally when you're naming your seven-hundredth colour. You're bound to end up with a few silly ones because they can't all be turquoise.

"The dark blue ones were funny, like 'murky depth' and 'Mariana's trench'. I didn't realise so many people would have their own examples too."

Writer Mike, who recently released a book called Open In Case of Emergency, picked 'fairy festival' for his four-year-old daughter's room rather than one of the 'rude' colours.

The Mirror has contacted Valspar and B&Q for comment.

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