Ah, favoritism…the unspoken family feud started that’s been stirring the pot for generations. Whether it’s that one sibling who can do no wrong, or the grandchild who gets all the hugs and the better presents, it’s a recipe for awkward family dinners and passive-aggressive group chats. Nobody says it out loud, but we all know when someone’s hogging the affection spotlight.
So, what happens when favoritism crashes a family vacation? Well, we’ll just ask our netizen, who knows the feeling all too well.
More info: Mumsnet
When it comes to favoritism, some kids get the spotlight, and others are left chasing the switch
One mom found herself facing this age-old issue when her mother-in-law left a family trip she had planned for her daughter, to attend her golden grandchild’s nativity play
The woman and her mother-in-law had a good relationship before the kids came along, when grandma started choosing her grandson over her granddaughter
The woman books a family trip, which includes her mother-in-law, but grandma “unintentionally” double-books and ends up choosing her grandson’s nativity play instead
Image credits: Bounty9
The woman asks if she is being unreasonable to feel hurt by her mother-in-law who ditched the family trip she planned for her daughter
The OP (original poster) and her husband have been together for 12 years. Once upon a time, the OP and her mother-in-law got along pretty well, until the kids entered the picture. So, the spotlight shined only on the OP’s sister-in-law’s son, aka the mother-in-law’s golden grandchild, while the OP’s daughter has been playing second fiddle for years.
But this favoritism had to boil over at some point, and this happened during a family vacation, which put an end to group holidays. Our OP did encourage her mother-in-law to spend more alone time with her daughter, as the kid really adores her grandma.
But hey, people change and grow, right? Bridges were rebuilt, and the OP, ever the optimist, decided to gift her in-laws a fully-paid getaway, as a thank-you for all their support over the years. Sweet, right? Well, it should have been. But, apparently, this mother-in-law was not part of the “people grow” category.
She “unintentionally” double-booked the trip with her grandson’s nativity play, despite knowing the trip dates for months. Her fabulous solution? Ditching half of the getaway to attend the play and then driving back later that evening. I don’t know about you, but I’d be pretty hurt at this point.
And so was the OP. She was understandably upset but torn between calling her mother-in-law out or letting it go for the sake of family harmony.
Families are already chaotic enough, but throw favoritism into the mix, and it’s a whole new level of messy. Favoritism is basically when one kid gets the royal treatment while the others are stuck in the cheap seats. In this case? Grandma’s heart (and schedule) seems permanently reserved for her favorite grandkid, while the other just gets a polite pat on the head.
Here’s the thing grandma might not know: even little kids can sniff out favoritism faster than you can say, “That’s not fair!” And when kids feel like they’re playing second fiddle, it’s not just a sad face you’re dealing with—it’s anxiety, low self-esteem, and even a lifetime of comparing themselves to their golden sibling. Thanks, Grandma.
But here’s where parents can step up and save the day. Experts say kids don’t need a spotlight; they need you to make them feel like the sun, moon, and stars combined. Focus on giving them unforgettable experiences because trust me, they’re going to remember the giggles, the cuddles, and the fun, not who didn’t show up.
The pros put it like this: “Positive childhood experiences (PCEs) are activities that support a child’s physical, mental, social, and emotional health and well-being. There are many ways that adults can promote PCEs in children’s lives, including building strong and meaningful relationships, engaging in fun activities together, and making them feel safe and nurtured at home and in their community.”
So, forget playing referee in the favoritism Olympics. Instead, play the cool parent who turns every moment into a memory worth keeping. OP clearly got the memo and made sure her daughter’s trip was about family love, not grandma’s no-show.
The Santa visit she planned and quality family bonding will go on, with or without grandma and grandpa. At the end of the day, the OP’s daughter will remember this trip as a time when her parents made her feel like the center of their universe, not as the time grandma dipped out to see her other grandkid.
What do you think of this story? What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Let us know in the comments section.
Netizens are divided on this one, with some saying that the woman should just cancel the in-laws’ booking, while others side with the grandparents
