Michelle Obama is (probably) not going to be the next president
I hope you’re not squeamish, because we are about to journey into the murky depths of the rightwing mind where brain worms abound.
First up is the Republican preoccupation du jour: the Taylor Swift election-interference psyop rumours. According to a recent poll, nearly one in five Americans (and one in three Republicans) believe the pop star is part of an elaborate deep-state conspiracy to help Joe Biden win re-election in 2024. Fox News has naturally helped to amplify those rumours. Last month, host Jesse Watters told viewers that “around four years ago, the Pentagon’s psychological operations unit floated turning Taylor Swift into an asset”. (There’s no doubt, of course, that Biden’s team would love Swift’s extremely valuable endorsement, but chasing celebrity support is not exactly some sort of nefarious plot.)
Despite thinking that Swift is somehow brainwashing us all into getting Biden re-elected, an increasing number of Republicans also seem convinced that Michelle Obama is actually going to be the next president. There have been misogynistic rumblings about this for a while now in conservative circles. Last May, for example, Kurt Schlichter at Townhall said that Republicans are “right to dread” the idea that we might see another Obama in the White House. “The kind of Chardonnay-swilling, overly credentialed and undereducated, sexually unsatisfied suburban wine women who adore Michelle Obama are going to be a key demographic in 2024, and Michelle owns them lock, stock and Häagen-Dazs,” Schlichter proclaimed in a stunningly sexist speech.
Ted Cruz also said last September he thinks the “odds are very significant” that Biden will be thrown off the ticket at the Democratic national convention this summer and Obama will be parachuted in as the nominee instead. And in January, far-right congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene told The Benny Show she thinks Democrats will try to replace Biden with Obama.
While the 2024 theories have been circulating for a while now, they’ve been supercharged in recent weeks – so much so that they’re trending and CNN is now debating the rumours.
To be fair, the idea that we might see Michelle Obama in the White House isn’t as bonkers as many other rightwing conspiracy theories. Biden, after all, isn’t exactly instilling confidence right now. Young voters (and anyone with a conscience) are dismayed that “Genocide Joe” is giving a blank cheque to Israel as it commits what the International Court of Justice has said is a “plausible” genocide in Gaza. An NBC poll from December found that 70% of voters aged 18-34 oppose his Gaza policy, and that has contributed to Biden’s low approval ratings.
Then there’s the question of Biden’s age and mental competency. Earlier this month a report from the justice department characterized the president as an “elderly man with a poor memory” who couldn’t even recall when his older son, Beau, had died. An outraged Biden defended his memory in a speech spurred by the report … and then immediately confused Mexico with Egypt.
In short: it is certainly plausible that Democrats have considered who they might parachute in to replace Biden if his health forces him from the ballot. It’s also plausible that Michelle Obama’s name has been raised as a possibility. After all, there isn’t a great list of possible replacements out there, is there? Kamala Harris (who recently told the Wall Street Journal she is “ready to serve” if need be) has terrible approval ratings. Gavin Newsom, the Democratic governor of California, is a possibility, but he’s untested on a national level. The same is true of Gretchen Whitmer, the governor of Michigan, who has been floated as a possible candidate.
But while the idea that we might see Michelle Obama as the nominee is not impossible, it’s incredibly unlikely. Still, you can expect to see Republicans continuing to spout the theory as much as they possibly can because it gives them an opportunity to engage in their two favourite pastimes: being racist and misogynistic.
Elon Musk is tweeting about how ‘boobs just rock’
There was once a viral post describing Elon Musk as what happens when the ghost of a 14-year-old boy who died in 2011 and a 19th-century oil baron try to possess the same body. I’m not sure anything describes the puerile billionaire better. This week he tweeted a meme about how much he loves “boobs,” which follows on from earlier immature jokes he’s made about “tits”. Can you imagine being a woman and working for this man? It’s not surprising his companies are constantly dealing with accusations of sexual harassment.
Greece becomes first Orthodox Christian country to legalize same-sex marriage
While this is a massive step forward, LGBTQ+ groups have also criticized the new law for not going far enough. The bill lets same-sex couples adopt children but only allows single women and straight couples to have access to assisted reproduction, for example.
Single stingrays are doing it (reproduction) for themselves
Charlotte has lived in an aquarium in North Carolina for most of her life and hasn’t shared a tank of water with a male of her species in at least eight years. Somehow, however, she is pregnant with four little stingrays. While this may seem confounding to those of us who are not aquatic experts, marine biologists are taking it in their stride. “I’m not surprised,” one research scientist told the Guardian. “Nature finds a way of having this happen.”
Caitlin Clark: the supernova driving women’s basketball to new heights
The University of Iowa star is smashing records and, says the Guardian, is “front and center of a boom time that is lifting the women’s game to uncharted commercial heights”.
‘I’m so scared, please come!’ begged Hind Rajab, a six-year-old Gaza girl
Her pleas for help were recorded on the Palestinian Red Crescent Society switchboard as she was trapped in a car with her dead family, under Israeli fire. Her decomposing body was later found along with the rescuers who had tried to save her. Little Hind is one of more than 28,000 people who have been killed by the relentless Israeli assault on Gaza. Meanwhile, it is estimated that more than 10 children a day lose one or both of their legs during the bombardment. Shame on all the cowardly world leaders shrugging their shoulder as this horror show continues.
Paris mayor launches legal action after being targeted with sexist insults
Anne Hidalgo was targeted with sexist insults and homophobic chants by some Paris Saint-Germain fans during a French league football match.
School uniforms may be barrier to physical activity among younger girls
That’s according to a new study by the University of Cambridge. It builds on earlier (fairly obvious) findings that girls feel less comfortable participating in active play if they’re wearing restrictive clothes like skirts or dresses.
The beekeepers of Sine-Saloum
Al Jazeera has a nice piece on an all-women team tending to the bees that help pollinate a mangrove forest in Senegal.
The week in pawtriarchy
We’ve seen emotional-support dogs, horses, guinea pigs and even alligators. Now meet the “emotional support monkey”. A woman in San Antonio recently brought two spider monkeys to a doctor’s appointment at a military clinic. While people have successfully claimed that their monkeys are service animals (one man even flies with his), this particular encounter didn’t go well. Turns out the military is not fond of people monkeying around.
• This article was amended on 18 February 2024. An earlier version said that 28,000 children had been killed in Gaza; this should have said 28,000 people.
