Derry City boss Ruaidhri Higgins admits he was left questioning himself during the Candystripes’ horror run in May.
City were winless over six games in a month that dealt a huge blow to their title ambitions.
And while they are still unlikely to wrestle the Premier Division crown from Shamrock Rovers, Higgins’ men are back in-form and are heading to the FAI Cup semi-finals.
Last Sunday’s joyous scenes in the wake of their quarter-final win over the Hoops offered Higgins an opportunity to reflect on his 18 months so far.
And he admitted glory as a manager would mean so much more than as a player, because his new role is an emotional rollercoaster.
The Derry City boss is just 90 minutes away from reaching the Aviva Stadium with his hometown club, with First Division Treaty United standing in their way.
Higgins won the FAI Cup twice with Derry, but admitted that he would swap all his honours as a player for a Blue Riband win this November.
Why?
“There is more responsibility, it’s on you,” he replied. “You win games, you get praised, you lose games, it’s on you.
“Trust me, it means a lot more. It’s probably the responsibility of it.
“I am privileged and proud and very honoured to manage this club. Nothing would make you prouder than winning a major trophy with the club.”
Being a manager means your mind is on the job 24/7, unlike a player, who can switch off from the end of one training session to the beginning of the next.
And in times of crisis, as Higgins experienced earlier this year, the strain can be even greater.
“It’s relentless,” he said. “We went through a month of May that I hope we never experience again. It was horrible. But it’s been a good thing, I think.
“There have been loads of tests in the opening 18 months since I’ve been here, but the month of May was tough.
“But we have come out of it in the right way and we are playing well and we are doing well and we are getting results.”
Derry went into May having beaten UCD 7-1 and St Patrick’s Athletic 4-0.
But as they turned the page on the calendar, results quickly went downhill.
There were draws against Bohemians and St Pat’s, defeats to Shamrock Rovers, Dundalk and Sligo Rovers, and they ended the month with a 2-2 draw against Finn Harps.
“Alan Reynolds by my side has so much experience,” Higgins continued.
“In that month of May, where maybe you are questioning yourself or doubting yourself to a certain extent, then his experience and his personality was brilliant for me in that period.
“I can’t thank him enough. He has been exceptional here, as have all the staff and all the players.
“It’s a great place to be at the minute. But we need to just stay grounded, kick on and try to win our next game.”
He added: ““It’s tough. There is no getting away from it. You don’t want to leave the house.
“Because I live in the city I can’t get away from it. There is one club in the city and the people here are so passionate about their club.
“It’s horrible. You need good people around you and I certainly had that.
“We had a tough May but we recovered exceptionally well and hopefully we will keep this run going.”
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