Dementia has allowed my mum to live in the present. If she can forget, then maybe so can I

‘I accept a cuppa and a biscuit from my mum, even though I don’t drink caffeine and I’m gluten intolerant,’ Jackie Bailey writes. Photograph: eyepark/Getty Images/iStockphoto

My mum has got a lot nicer as she has got older. Growing up, she had an unpredictable temper. I tried not to give her reasons to be mad at me, but she was not rational in her rage, lashing out when she had a particularly bad day (she struggled with a gambling addiction), or when bills were (over)due.

Now 87 years old, she is smiling whenever I visit her. Mum has been diagnosed with dementia and has moved into an aged care facility. When I see her, I always tell her who I am. So far, she has always responded, “I know.”