Dame Deborah James' widower admits he finds it difficult to articulate how tough it's been since her passing.
The author and podcast host sadly died at the age of 40 in June last year following a brave five-year battle with bowel cancer. She had started a social media campaign, named Bowelbabe, shortly after her diagnosis to increase awareness of the disease and raise money for charity, which has since hit a huge £11million following her passing.
Her widow Sebastien Bowen spoke in his first TV interview since her death about how tough it's been, but how even in her death, she had managed to do everything she wanted including raising money to fight against the disease.
Speaking in a pre-recorded interview with BBC Breakfast, he shared of her final moments with her family: "I think she died in probably one of the best ways you could hope to die with this terrible disease.
"She died surrounded by her mother, father, brother, sister, me, all of us holding her hand being there for her. It was as much as it can be, the first time I’ve ever seen someone pass away, but I think there was a peace to it."
He added: "She had done everything she could hope to achieve."
In an emotional clip, daughter Eloise read out one of her mother's final posts, where she spoke about having rebellious hope and urged people to find a life worth living, take risks, love deeply and have no regrets.
She was wearing a dress designed by her mother, which she had named after her daughter. Eloise recalled how even if her mum had had a bad day with her chemotherapy, the two of them would get up and dance with one another and just enjoy their time together as it helped them to stop worrying.
Sebastien added: "We talk about rebellious hope, she embodied rebellious hope."
Her son Hugo added: "To me it means that no matter what happens, there's always something that will keep you going and you always push through and there will always be a rainbow on the other side."
Sebastien explained how Deborah had always taught him about the fighting spirit and embracing life, even up to the "final moments". He said she was able to achieve such a positive mindset, even right at the end.
It comes after Heather James, the mother of the late Dame Deborah James, spoke to Lorraine about how much it meant to raise so much money, with the fund now reaching £11.3 million for Cancer Research UK.
Heather admits it has been tough since her daughter's death - as it's finally hit her about the family's sad loss.
Asked how life has been, she said: "Perhaps I love the ‘go, go, go’. Deborah was always ‘go, go, go’ and full of energy. I think her legacy is going to be 'go, go, go'. Grieving, if I have too much time on my hands, you do think, 'This is real, she’s not here anymore.'
"She's in our lives so much in everything that she’s left behind, I will keep campaigning and if we can do that for Deborah’s legacy, then that’s great. But grieving wise, it’s more hard now that reality has set in. It’s sad. You get numb when it first happens, then you go through, 'Is this real?' and now it’s hit the stage, 'This is real.'"
She added: "A big thank you to all the supporters that have helped us raise so far £11.3m and let’s keep going to save more lives!"
