STOP: HATTERS TIME
When the Football League saw fit to press ahead with a match between Norwich and Millwall despite it clashing with the Women’s World Cup final, it came in for plenty of criticism. On the face of it, the decision made by its top-flight counterparts to have Luton host West Ham in a televised Premier League game as transfer deadline day ticks down to its frantic conclusion also looks ill-advised. At least until you remember that the kind of folk who work themselves into a frenzy over Mo Salah moving (or not moving) to Al-Ittihad, Chelsea taking their summer spending under Todd Boehly to north of £1bn and Dunfermline lining up a bid for Blackpool winger Owen Moffat, often tend to be more interested in the comings and goings of footballers during transfer windows, than what those players actually do on the pitch once they get wherever it is they’ve rocked up carrying a designer washbag under their arm.
Luton fans will be oblivious to the sound of fax machines whirring, the excitable squawking of Sky Sports hype peeps and the beeping of the lorries full of Saudi riyals reversing into assorted loading bays. For the first time in 31 years they’ll be welcoming top-flight football back to a jazzed-up but still heartwarmingly decrepit Kenilworth Road, the main stand of which is famously accessed through the window of the upstairs toilet in a neighbouring two-up, two-down. To put it in some sort of context, the last time Luton played a home game at this level, the famously nails-hard Mick Harford was playing up front against Aston Villa; now the club’s extremely shrewd chief recruitment officer, Harford is 64 years old. But despite their paucity of world-class players, one suspects Mick won’t get much recruiting done between the hours of 8pm and 10pm, what with him being preoccupied with watching those players already at the club try to make the most of the obvious advantage presented by their extremely cramped and insalubrious home.
While the Hatters v the Hammers is the intriguing (and alliterative) opening match of the current weekend’s fixtures, arguably the most mouthwatering is Sunday’s showpiece at the Emirates, where Arsenal host Manchester United in a battle of heavyweights who, in the early stages of the season, have thus far flattered to deceive. While United’s army of Harford-a-likes have spent the day trying to wedge Sofyan Amrabat into their supermarket trolley for one last-gasp dash, their manager went before the press and announced we might finally get a look at Rasmus Højlund, who has recovered from the back-knack that has kept him sidelined since he arrived four weeks ago.
As if the pressure of playing up front for Manchester United wasn’t enough for a 20-year-old, some folk who should know better have labelled the young Dane “Erling Haaland 2.0”. While Erik ten Hag isn’t one of them, he made it clear in no uncertain terms what he expects from the striker. “At United you have to perform, every position, every player,” he declared, piling even more pressure on a player who has certain obvious similarities with his counterpart across town. As well as having a vaguely similar name, Højlund is also blond, tall, quick and Scandinavian but has some way to go before he even comes close to matching his prototype in terms of ruthlessness in front of goal.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“You’re looking at it and you’re trying to fully understand, because the draw is actually quite complex – I didn’t realise it was that complicated to figure out what was going on” – it appears that Eddie Howe found the protracted Big Cup tombola almost as hard to understand as questions about Newcastle’s ownership model. Just in case he is still struggling, the Magpies face Milan, Dortmund and PSG. And there’s analysis of the group stages from floating football brain in a jar Jonathan Wilson, here.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
I don’t remember what they were going on about, but a discussion on the Football Weekly podcast the other day reminded me of a period when I was briefly (very briefly, thankfully) a celebrity. I was working on a top-rated TV show and was rewarded by the viewing public by being constantly shouted at, spat on and burgled on an almost daily basis. The job did have its compensations however, and apart from money, the best of these was the charity football. The show had its own team and, among other grounds, I got to play at Preston, Burnley, Arsenal, Chelsea, Plymouth, Partick Thistle, Leeds, Southend, Spurs and Hampden. The one everyone wanted, however, was Wembley. And in a wide range of pick-n-mix teams most of us got there eventually. When Todd Carty was on This Is Your Life, a few of us met up and talk soon turned to these appearances which usually preceded a ‘proper’ Wembley occasion. ‘Oh yeah,’ somebody said, ‘I was invited to play before the Zenith Data Systems final a couple of years back.’ ‘Can’t remember what the game was when I was there,’ someone else went on, ‘might have been the Rumbelows, or something.’ One of our number had played there courtesy of Johnstone’s Paint, while another had fond memories of the Sherpa Van Trophy. At this stage I turned to Martin Kemp, who we all knew from his days with Spandau Ballet, but who had recently been seen strutting his stuff on Albert Square. ‘Have you played at Wembley?’ I asked. ‘Oh. Yeah,’ he replied, looking slightly sheepish. Unable to take a hint I carried on … ‘Oh right,’ I said, ‘when was it?’ … ‘Oh. You know,’ he replied, still eager to save my blushes. ‘Live Aid’” – Chris McHallem.
In 35 years of watching football each week, I never once had an earworm enter my head when a player’s name was mentioned. However, the Football Daily letters page has clearly affected me. I cannot read about the fact that one of the world’s great young talents is leaving Barcelona for a year spent plying his trade in Falmer without humming along to Buster Bloodvessel and Bad Manners. Lip up Fati” – James Willcox.
Can I be one Lancastrian, probably among many more outraged Yorkists, to correct Bruce Dennis (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). If he picked up his Denis Law table lighter in Todmorden Working Men’s club he was in West Yorkshire, not Lancashire. However, what I really wanted to say was it would have been nice if, in your brief review of Wednesday’s Milk Cup, you could have referenced that my Blackburn Rovers recorded their biggest away victory in their 148-year history by beating Harrogate Town (which is also in Yorkshire) 8-0” – John Myles (and no other outraged Yorkists).
Bruce does the good burghers of the Blue Mountains a disservice in saying none of us here have ever heard of Denis Law. I’m happy to pop him on the email list to be notified of the annual Denis Law Appreciation Society Christmas in July shindig at the Paragon Cafe in Katoomba” – Nick Shimmin.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Chris McHallem.
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