The moment I think my perimenopausal symptoms started I can actually pinpoint. I was 44 and I remember it because it was so weird.
The best way I can describe it is that I just lost something of myself.
I changed.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on how I’d changed, but I’d definitely changed. I didn’t feel myself. I remember feeling more self-conscious and awkward than I normally would. And I’d wake up in the middle of the night and the sheets would be soaking. I felt my entire body had turned into a prune.
My legs were super dry when I got out of the shower. Something had changed with my hair too – and it felt like it had all happened overnight.
Then there was the forgetfulness: my phone was in the fridge, my keys ended up in the bin. This reached really frightening levels, I forgot everything. Words, names, events – everything.
That was quite a long period of my life and I wish I’d known what symptoms to look out for. I wish I’d learned about it in school so I knew what was coming. I wish an elder stateswoman had told me about her experience so I could flag up when I was experiencing those things myself.
Now we know modern hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and modern transdermal HRT (which means it is absorbed through the skin) is largely safe and in many ways good for us. I didn’t know that, and because of that I lost time in my life.
No one should lose years of their life to menopause, or perimenopause.
Tomorrow we’ll be talking all about HRT and some of the common myths that surround it. But today, I’m here to tell you about the lifestyle changes that can help you feel your best during perimenopause and menopause.
Exercise, eating right and taking time to look after number one are non-negotiable and must be part of your menopause plan.
WHY EXERCISE IS IMPORTANT
Exercise is massively important at any time of our lives, but it really comes into its own during perimenopause and menopause.
Not only does it tackle middle-age spread, it keeps bones strong, keeps the mind alert, protects your heart, boosts your mood and helps you to sleep.
As a starting point you should aim to exercise three times a week, and then see how you get on. Here are my golden rules.
You are never too busy
You always have time to exercise. Once you start making time for it, you’ll be amazed how it soon becomes part of your life.
Set your alarm for half an hour earlier, get your workout out of the way first thing and you’ll still have time for everything else you need to fit in during the day.
Find exercise you like doing
Don’t do something just because you feel you should. If it makes you feel uncomfortable or it’s boring, you won’t stick to it. If you haven’t exercised for a while, try something new.
It could be Zumba or swimming, workouts at home, spin or running.
The trick is to experiment. There are more than 500 workouts from five to 50 minutes, on ownyourgoalsdavina.com, my fitness platform.
Work out at home
Being able to just hit play in your bedroom or living room and work out without leaving the house is so handy.
It’s also brilliant if you don’t fancy going to the gym, or the weather is horrible outside. If you are feeling shy or you just don’t feel very sociable, it’s a great way to keep up momentum in a safe space. There are loads of home workouts to choose from online.
Walking is epic
I love walking. It’s free, it doesn’t need fancy equipment and it’s so easy to build into your life. Try walking the kids to school, or walking to the shops instead of jumping into the car.
Walking is a brilliant weight-bearing exercise that helps to build bone strength. Just remember to walk with purpose. Putting a spring in your step will mean you get where you want to go quicker, you’ll burn more calories, get your heart rate up and also get those endorphins going.
All movement counts
Exercise doesn’t always have to be cross-country running or lifting weights. Fitting in 20 minutes here or there can make all the difference.
That can be any activity that gets you moving – going for a walk, playing with the kids or grandchildren in the park or dancing to some of your favourite bangers in the kitchen.
Choose a workout buddy
If willpower is an issue, get an “excuse buddy”. Whether a friend, partner or workmate, having someone to be accountable to is great for motivation.
You’ll be less likely to cry off if you just don’t fancy it and it’ll prove be more fun. If it isn’t feasible to meet up, do an online workout together. And arrange a weekly catch-up to review your goals and plan ahead for the next week.
EAT WELL DURING MENOPAUSE
I often get asked about weight control in midlife. I’m not a dietitian, but my experience has been that I just don’t burn the same number of calories the older I get.
Food can be a big emotional crutch in life when everything feels overwhelming. Menopause can be one of those times, too. You’re too knackered to cook, you’ve had a bad day at work, you’re feeling at a low ebb, and that big slab of chocolate looks tempting. If you know that weight has crept up on you, then you need a two-pronged attack to achieve meaningful weight loss – 20 per cent exercise and 80 per cent food.
Check portion sizes
Weight gain in midlife is not inevitable – and if you want to, you can lose it.
But if you keep eating at the rate you did in your 20s, you can put on weight without realising. The first place to start is portion sizes. You don’t need a fancy set of kitchen scales, you can just use your hand as a guide.
Size of your palm – serving of protein, such as lean meat or fish
Size of your fist – serving of veg
A cupped hand – serving ofcarbs
A thumb – serving of fats
Switch to a smaller plate
Another easy tip I use after I’ve been over-indulging is switching to a smaller plate. You might feel hungry for a bit, but once you start to lose weight and your stomach shrinks a little, you will start to need less food.
Be honest about treats
You don’t have to ditch all the things you love, just don’t go overboard having a takeaway three times a week. Moderation is key.
Sugar is my nemesis. Once I start, I find it really hard to stop. If you do something similar, then it might be better to clear out the cupboards until you can forge some better habits.
If you’ve found yourself getting into the habit of a couple of glasses of wine every night, make a pact with yourself to either drop the weeknight vino altogether or limit it to fewer nights a week. Alcohol is full of empty calories and a real barrier to getting a good night’s sleep.
HRT and weight loss
There’s nothing in HRT that makes you lose weight in itself, but you will probably find if you have a few pounds to lose, HRT will give you the impetus to do something about it.
Fatigue, anxiety, depression and aches and pains are enough to drain the motivation from the most committed gymgoer. I’ve found HRT has helped with my symptoms and so helps with reigniting my desire to get active.
LOOK AFTER YOUR SKIN
Parched, wrinkled and a bit sad – sounds like I’m describing a lonesome raisin, but that was what my skin looked like during perimenopause. As you move into menopause, oestrogen depletes and your skin starts to lose tone and elasticity.
It also becomes harder for your skin to retain moisture, so you might find your skin switches from spotty to dry, flaky and itchy.
Avoid ‘miracle’ products
Unless it’s come on prescription from a medical professional, give a wide berth to products that promise to stop hot flushes or “fix” menopausal skin.
Make sure you moisturise
If your skin is dry, the key thing is getting moisture back in. That doesn’t have to mean a really rich moisturiser – something water-based can work just as well for you. Try a hydrating mask, or a good facial oil.
Menopausal skin will often respond well to cleansing milks and creams, facial mists and a good moisturiser– and don’t skip a good SPF to protect your skin. At night, repeat your daytime routine without applying the SPF.
- Menopausing: The Positive Roadmap To Your Second Spring by Davina McCall with Dr Naomi Potter (£22, published by HQ) is out now.