Slappung David Beckham to win a bet with Neil Lennon isn’t my proudest pre-season moment. But it does make me smile when I think back to some of the capers that went on during the build-up spell ahead of the big kick-off.
Ange Postecoglou and his Celtic team are in Austria right now getting their programme really going with the re-integration of the international players as well as the new signings You can write it off as kickabouts if you want. Some of them are. But matches such as Saturday's against Rapid Vienna have a serious role and they can offer momentum.
Take the night of that Manchester United match when myself and Beckham had our exchange. For context, it was summer 2001 and Celtic were at Old Trafford to play in Ryan Giggs’ Testimonial match. Just a couple of months earlier, United had been at Celtic Park for Tom Boyd’s Testimonial and they had beaten us 2-0. Normally, these games can be a bit ‘you have it and then we’ll have it’. But this one was feisty. It was needly. Put it this way, I’d suggest it wasn’t played in normal Testimonial spirit.
Suffice to say, when we headed down to Old Trafford to meet them again, there was plenty of motivation and we wanted badly to beat them. On the bus on the way to the game, myself and Lenny had a bet about who would be the first to slap Beckham. Nothing serious. Just if it got tasty and we all got involved. Which it did – and I got in there first.
It was funny afterwards. He spent the rest of the game trying to kick lumps out of me and even managed to on a few occasions. Now don’t get me wrong. There was no malice. Beckham was a magnificent footballer and I had the utmost respect for him.
It was nothing sinister. Just a bit of playful jousting if it got feisty again. There was a serious side to this, though as both Ruud van Nistelrooy and Juan Sebastian Veron were making their Manchester United debuts. It was a proper game.
We won it 4-3 and it was nothing like a gentle kickabout. It was the real deal. Then, just seven days later, we went to Amsterdam and defeated Ajax 3-1 to win in the qualifiers which set us up to reach the group stages of the Champions League for the first time.
Testimonial or not, I still think the competitive nature of the Old Trafford game put us right for the match in the ArenA. That’s the serious side but there’s also time together with the lads day and night and there’s some laughs.
Martin O’Neill used to do severe running drills. Occasionally, for the outfield players’ enjoyment, he’d get the keepers involved. I used to wet myself at big Rab Douglas and Jonathan Gould being pummelled like the rest of us.
Being together bonds, but it also brings tensions. I remember having a fight with Olivier Tebily. He was like a rash in training, always trying to nick the ball in front of you. After his 50th foul of me one day, we hit the deck at the same time.
I tried to smack him with my arm. It went back and forth with the lads getting involved and pulling us apart. I was up for it at the time, but I had the chair propped up against the room door for safety by the time it came to the evening because Olivier was a bit mad.
It’s funny that two of my other clubs, Norwich and Blackburn, are heading to Celtic Park for pre-season matches. Coming through at Norwich, we had a great bunch. We did really well and have I ever mentioned the fact we beat Bayern Munich in Europe?
Some great characters. I was on a pre-season flight one and Darren Beckford started complaining that he was feeling sick. Ruel Fox, a kind team-mate, went away and got a sick bag for him to have for the flight. What he didn’t know is that Foxy had punched a hole in the bottom of the bag and then sat there howling with laughter as Darren vomited into the bag and all over his own lap.
There wasn’t much pressure at Norwich. We punched above our weight, but there was stress when I went to Blackburn. Jack Walker was spending big trying to win the title and I was a British record fee at the time for a striker when I signed.
Our first pre-season game was in Norway. We played a team called Steinkjer and that pretty much sums up my performance. You can imagine the headlines.
That’s the thing. As much as pre-season can be a giggle and have a relaxed air at times, there’s no such thing as a free day at a big club. Postecoglou and his players are going into matches for fitness and build-up to the real stuff, but fans still assess them.
Go back a year ago. When West Ham battered Celtic on their own patch last summer, it wasn’t just written off. It was seen as a serious marker for what Postecoglou’s squad was lacking, where they needed to get and who they needed to get there.
Pre-season doesn’t count for anything in terms of trophies. But having a good one can help you avoid getting a slap in the face when the real actions starts.
