Not every tale is bound to have a happy ending, neither is every marriage. And while a divorce is never an easy thing to go through, some cases are seemingly worse than others.
For this redditor, the fairytale ended rather abruptly and painfully when he learned that his wife was cheating on him. Not only that, the mother of two fell pregnant with her lover’s child, which eventually put the OP in an even more dire position.
Scroll down to find the full story below, where you will also find Bored Panda’s interview with Associate Professor of Sociology at Salem State University, Sara Moore, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
A marriage coming to an end is not an easy thing to go through
Image credits: Negative Space / pexels (not the actual photo)
This man ended his marriage instantly after learning about wife’s infidelity
Image credits: Elina Fairytale / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alone_Sherbert_3607
It’s important that parents don’t speak ill of each other in front of their children when getting a divorce
Image credits: Elina Fairytale / pexels (not the actual photo)
For one reason or another, many married couples eventually turn their separate ways. Forbes reports that in 2022, close to 674,000 divorces and annulments took place in the US. (If you’re curious about the unions that were formed, there were roughly 2,065,905 of them that occurred the same year). Forbes revealed that out of the first marriages, roughly 43% are eventually dissolved, out of the second ones – 60% are, and as for the third ones – 73% reportedly fail to stand the test of time.
Unfortunately, many marriages that end in divorce involve children, which might make splitting up more difficult—yet not impossible—to navigate. “Lots of research shows that divorce doesn’t have to be traumatic for children; rather, context matters,” Prof. Sara Moore told Bored Panda in a recent interview. “But when one parent speaks negatively about another parent, children often feel put in the middle and may become distrustful of or angry at one or both parents, regardless of the parents’ intentions.
“It’s really important that parents think about and prepare for these inevitable conversations and, unless it’s an issue of safety, remain as even-keeled as possible in discussing these topics,” she added.
Parents should be cautious about how much detail to reveal to their kids
Image credits: Camylla Battani / unsplash (not the actual photo)
When having the difficult conversation with your kids about the divorce, it’s important to not only remain even-keeled, but also be aware of how much detail the children should know. “I think honesty is really important in family relationships, but it’s also important to consider the consequences of parents sharing everything with their children,” Dr. Moore pointed out.
“It’s important for parents to consider their children’s maturity levels when considering what kinds of information to share, and I would encourage parents to consider the purpose for providing that information. Sharing certain details can be a power move designed to make someone look bad or to justify problematic behavior, so even if that information is true, parents should really reflect on why they’re choosing to disclose certain pieces of information.”
The expert added that boundaries play a crucial role in such situations, too. For example, asking your kids to advocate for their half-sibling might not be a healthy thing to do, unless said kids express concern to their mother themselves. “Divorced parents should avoid intervening in their former partners’ new relationships unless it’s a matter of safety,” Dr. Moore said.
The OP clearly wanted to stay out of his ex-wife’s personal life after the divorce, which is how many people would arguably feel in his shoes. That’s why many redditors in the comments seemed to feel for the father of two and supported him by emphasizing that the child his wife had out of wedlock was not his responsibility.
