The last couple of weeks have been hell, sitting back and seeing the boys get beat.
I'm doing my best to get back out there and play as soon as possible, but you feel helpless being sidelined.
You feel like a coward.
You're not out there with your mates in the trenches.
That's the hardest thing, you can't do anything when you're injured.
And our loss to Cronulla was pretty disappointing, everyone was down after that game. They came and hit us in the face, and we just didn't respond. They're the hardest ones to watch, the games where you feel you could have made a real difference.
We did play a different style though, we thought it was going to be wet and we prepared all week like that.
We compressed up and they got stuck into us, which is something that is hard to fathom for us and the fans.
I know we lost against the Panthers, but we took a lot out of that match, playing with 12 men and soldiering on.
But against Cronulla it was a different story. We didn't play the way we want to. There were a lot of errors and give a side like that, an attacking side, the footy, and you make it hard.
But we've got to move on.
As a footy player, after losses like that, back-to-back losses too, it's always hard coming in and fronting the music. Everyone is spraying you and whatnot.
The maturity of the boys, to come in and cop it on the chin, and not mope around.
Everyone had their heads on and got stuck into training knowing how important this week is. They've trained hard, and trained steely.
I know Tommy is out for Manly, but it shouldn't matter who runs out on Thursday. We need to worry about who is playing for Newcastle, and worry about us.
Run out, play our brand of footy and get the two points at home.
It is a rivalry game though, and while it might have cooled a little since the 1990s, there's still a bit of feeling in it. 'Adsy' has touched on it this week. There's a long history between the clubs.
I remember watching the Chief and Mark Carroll go at it. It was very entertaining.
Even a couple of years ago, when 'Pearcey' kicked a field goal in round one to win us the game. There's always a bit of feeling in the game and it's one you look forward to.
We won back the Allan McMahon Shield against the Tigers a few weeks ago, and now we're playing for the Malcolm Reilly Trophy.
Any sort of player milestones or trophies, it's something extra to play for. 'Adsy' will speak about it before the game.
We're also starting something new by walking to our home games from the Centre of Excellence.
I think we did it before the Tigers game, but the fans didn't really know.
I'm hoping they start waiting for us down the southern end of the stadium.
If it catches on, the atmosphere will be awesome. On a big day, it will feel like a finals game with everyone getting around us.
