GOAT TO HELL
The debate has raged for years, dividing families, ending friendships and causing a lot of teenagers to throw games controllers across the room following a lengthy argument with a child in another country. The Fiver, naturally, does not want to show its political leaning on such important matters – it is not trivial like Brexit – but we feel it is necessary to support our man. Messi or Ronaldo? There is only one option.
The Fiver knows a thing or two about betrayal. People have been trying to force us out of Fiver Towers ever since we let Weird Uncle Fiver use the office printer in 2001. Ronaldo has only been unwanted for a year-and-a half, The Fiver has been undermined by ‘the man’ for years, without randomly being given the captain’s armband. “I don’t have respect for [Ten Hag] because he doesn’t show respect for me,” sobbed CR7 on Sunday night. We feel you buddy.
