Starting a family is something many people hope for. But for some, getting there isn’t an easy journey. That’s why one couple decided to do something generous: they planned to gift their frozen embryos to friends who needed them, and they were genuinely excited to help.
Then the truth came out. Behind their backs, those “friends” were insulting them, badmouthing them, and even saying they didn’t deserve their own child. Heartbroken by what they learned, the couple decided to have the embryos destroyed instead of handing them over.
And despite everything that was said, the friends are now trying to sue them for backing out of the offer. Read the full story below.
The couple planned to gift their embryos to friends who needed them and were truly excited to help
Image credits: svitlanah / envato (not the actual photo)
But after learning what those friends were saying behind their backs, they decided to have the embryos destroyed
Image credits: JuiceFlair / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwaway_embryos
Struggling with infertility can take a real physical and emotional toll on women
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
When you imagine having children, it comes with much more than just becoming a parent. It means daydreaming about growing together as a family and celebrating all the small milestones. Watching them learn to walk and talk. Trying to help with school homework while realizing you’re just as confused as them. Sitting down for meals together. Being there for the happy moments and the hard ones. You picture a whole life ahead of you.
When that dream doesn’t happen as easily as you expected and you realize infertility might be part of your story, it can feel like real heartbreak. So it’s understandable that the author of this story wanted to help another family, especially through a process that’s often difficult and expensive. She and her husband planned to gift embryos to friends who needed them and were excited to help. But the situation didn’t come with the same kindness in return, leaving them with a sour, painful experience.
It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that the family waiting on the embryos didn’t seem to extend basic respect, especially while facing their own fertility struggles. Infertility, as many women share, can take a serious toll.
One study found that among women dealing with infertility, 27.9% reported depression and 42.2% reported anxiety. Another suggested their depression and anxiety levels can be similar to those seen in people facing cancer, H.I.V., and heart disease. Along with that can come internalized shame, guilt, and serious exhaustion.
Even after someone ultimately has children, the experience can stay with them, describes Regina Townsend, the founder of The Broken Brown Egg, an infertility website and community, writing for The New York Times. She gave birth to a baby boy and vulnerably shared that even after that, “the fluctuating despair and hope” she felt wasn’t something she could simply switch off during pregnancy or once she welcomed her child.
“Because it can be hard to fully grasp what infertility involves unless you’ve dealt with it personally, many people believe that it’s all about the end game, a baby—that if you could just get to that prize, the pain of infertility would fade away,” she said. “But infertility is bigger than babies. I say this often, because I want people to get it. It truly is. It can affect our physical and mental health in insidious—and sometimes enduring—ways.”
Dr. Maria Costantini-Ferrando, MD, PhD, FACOG, a board-certified reproductive endocrinologist, infertility specialist, and obstetrician and gynecologist, explains what sits underneath many of the emotions women carry while dealing with infertility.
One of the hardest parts of fertility treatment is how unpredictable it can be, she notes. There’s no promise a cycle will work, and there’s rarely a neat timeline for when pregnancy might happen. That constant loop of anticipation, hope, disappointment, and starting over can build into a pressure that feels heavy and hard to shake.
To cope, some women throw themselves into research, reading up on every option and trying to learn anything they can about their diagnosis, test results, medications, clinic protocols, and the tiny factors that might affect outcomes, from treatment choices to lifestyle changes. Others lean on support groups, finding comfort in being understood without having to explain every feeling. But for many, the uncertainty still follows them through everyday life, making it hard to relax into any sense of safety.
The experience can also come with fear. For those who have gone through recurrent miscarriages, even a positive pregnancy test can bring anxiety: what if it happens again? Staying optimistic under that kind of stress is difficult, and it’s easy to feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
Costantini-Ferrando emphasizes that women struggling with infertility need a strong network around them. Even with social media and growing awareness, many still hesitate to open up because they fear judgment or unsolicited advice. That’s where friends and family can make a real difference by offering steady, thoughtful support.
She also stresses that mental health support needs to be part of the overall wellness journey for women undergoing fertility treatment. Clinics should prioritize it, making sure every patient has access to specialized counseling.
With something this sensitive and vulnerable, it matters that women feel seen and heard for what they’re going through. It also matters how others treat them along the way, because this story shows how quickly cruelty can turn an already difficult situation into something even harder.
The author shared more details in the comments
Many readers backed them up and said they did the right thing
Others, though, felt they handled it the wrong way
