Count Binface has unveiled his manifesto for the London Mayoral election, including a pledge to force Thames Water bosses to "take a dip in the Thames" to "see how they like it".
The satirical political candidate announced 24 policies ahead of the vote on May 2 in a post on X on Monday.
In the manifesto, Binface vowed to "build at least one affordable house", ban "loud snacks" from theatres and demolish the Millennium Dome to make way for a nature reserve.
Shops will also be banned from selling croissants for more than £1.10 - a repetition of a commitment made by Binface at the last Mayoral election in 2021.
London Bridge will be named after actress Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Ceefax will be brought back, Binface said.
Here it is: my 2024 manifesto to be Mayor of London. Can any other candidate beat this? Not a chance! #VoteBinface #MakeYourVoteCount #IchBinEinLondoner pic.twitter.com/4blqS2IjTa
— Count Binface (@CountBinface) April 8, 2024
The manifesto also contains a commitment to use a windfall tax on oil companies to pay for a new electric car for every Londoner who cannot afford a Ulez-compliant vehicle.
Last week, the Standard revealed that sewage flowed into London’s rivers for almost 10,000 hours in 2023 - up significantly from the nearly 7,000 hours reported the year before.
Binface, created by comedian Jonathan Harvey, first ran for office as a candidate for Uxbridge and South Ruislip in the 2019 general election against former Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
Harvey was also the creator of Lord Buckethead, a satirical candidate who picked up 249 votes when running for MP in Theresa May's Maidenhead constituency in the 2017 general election.
Binface, who describes himself as an "intergalactic space warrior", told the BBC last month that he would run against Labour candidate Sadiq Khan and Tory candidate Susan Hall to "bring some much needed sanity to local government".
"Despite all the flaws of the British democratic system, isn't it remarkable that there is still this wonderful quirk that if you want to dress up like an idiot and stand next to the prime minister of the day, then you can," he said.
"When democracy is under so much strain, I think this needs celebrating and defending."
Mr Khan is on course for a landslide re-election and third term as Mayor, according to the most recent polls.
An ITV News poll of 1,019 Londoners published last week put Mr Khan eighteen points ahead of his Conservative rival Ms Hall.
